


Once I turn 22

by two2ducks



Category: NCT (Band), SuperM (Korea Band), WAYV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Drinking, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Minor yuwin, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:47:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 37,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22017343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/two2ducks/pseuds/two2ducks
Summary: Not that it hurt Johnny, but Ten was a nice, new person in his life. The way he left wasn’t some kind of scene, but still felt too rushed and Johnny could tell that Ten didn’t expect him to follow the boy. The short dialogue they had was pure avoidance from one side and Johnny doesn’t understand that. He hopes Ten gets that he didn’t want to make the other feel uncomfortable or unwanted. Johnny goes to bed sulking, slight hope of some new messages on his phone tomorrow.aka a year of JohnTen
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

Have you ever had a wish, no, a _need_ to distance yourself from everyone you know and just exist alone for a bit, do what you _actually_ want or explore something new, not be the same self that you are everyday?

* * *

It’s not like any other Wednesday. When their groupchat is feverishly discussing which club or bar they will set as their destination for today, Johnny just says that he’s skipping this time, nobody seems to care anyway. However, he constantly continues to keep up with the places his friends are discussing about. Since it is pretty late already, they finish their conflicts fast and settle for a club in the city centre they have already been to twice. It’s not the worst place you can go in the middle of the week, but it’s way too big for Johnnys liking, but he’s not going, so it doesn’t matter.

Instead he himself googles “ _clubs around me_ ” and scrolls thorough countless places until he finds something similar to what he imagined – a small club, not near his or any of his friends places and nowhere near the club in the centre of the city, so he’s should be safe there.

He gets ready quickly, already planned what he is going to wear, you can never look bad in skinny black jeans and a silky, baby blue button up, especially if the first three buttons are left open. His hair still is holding up decently since he styled them in the morning, so all he has to do is slip into a pair of black shoes, take his wallet, the car keys and the long black coat, just in a case he has to spend more than five minutes outside. March is around the corner, but that doesn’t mean that the weather has gotten much warmer than it was in the middle of the winter.

* * *

The club turns out to be a solid 20 minute ride from Johnnys house, even if the streets are empty and you don’t take the speed limit into account. He notes that he can’t drink _too_ much, he still needs to get back home.

When Johnny enters the club, he is quite surprised by the amount of people are here, there’s still plenty of place, but he expected less from this place.

First things first, he needs to find the bar. The plan for tonight is to get drunk quickly, get to know some strangers he’s going to spend his time here and as soon as he sobers up – leave. The bar is located on the right side of the whole room, which is kind of divided into different places, but there aren’t really any walls separating them. Not like in other places he has been, people actually move out of the way and lets him go past them without bumping into each other, _that’s nice._

When Johnny reaches the bar, the first thing he notices is a short guy with a silver toy crown on his head arguing, if you can call it like that, with the bartender who seems not to take whatever the guy says seriously.

“Please, please, please, pretty please!!!” The bartender, again, just laughs back, repeating the same sentence.

“No,” He drags it teasingly, “two more hours.”

Whatever that means, doesn’t leave any kind of impact on the shorter, “Yes, I know, but please! You sold them to my friends though! Please!” With every “ _please_ ” the visitor keeps jumping higher and higher, staying at the same place, hands clasped together, with his elbows on the bar, begging for something.

“Yeah, because they’re at least a day older than 21.” The man behind the counter, starts to clean glasses with a towel, Johnnys just slowly approaching the scene closer and closer.

“But I _am_ 21!”

“21 and 22 hours, not 21 and 24 hours.” Bartender seems to be enjoying the teasing, the other, however, is beyond frustrated.  
Johnny knows the law – when you turn 21, you have to wait a full day before you’re allowed to purchase anything that now has become legal to you.

“How do you even know the time of my birth?”

The clean glass is placed in front of the _21 year old guy_ , “You should have sneaked in and make your friends buy you drinks less, then you’d remember.” However, the glass is filled with sparkling water. The other isn’t a fan of this joke and lets his prying hands fall down on the table, settling his head in them, the crown magically doesn’t fall off.

As the water reaches the top of the glass, the bartender notices Johnny, who finally has arrived right next to the seat of the short male. “And what can I get for you?”

He doesn’t think much, goes for a classic that should be available everywhere, “I’ll have vodka martini,” Johnny turns to the helpless guy next to him, “and you?” It takes a second for the other to realise that he’s the one talked to.

He scrunches his face, “What do you mean and you?”

Johnny scrunches his face back, he hoped that the polite maneuver would cheer the other up, “I thought you wanted something to drink.”

And the other did seem to light up at the mention of drinks, “ _Oh!_ I’ll have the same as you!”

Johnny turns back to the man behind the bar, “Two vodka martinis then.” The bartender doesn’t waste no time with mixing the drinks.

The guy next to Johnny is irritated by this, “And you won’t even ask him for his documents?”

Even though the bartender has his back turned on them, he still answers, “Oh, don’t worry, I will.”

While the drinks are getting ready, Johnny takes out his ID card from the wallet and settles it on the bar. In a quick hand movement, the stranger slides his card to himself and scans it with his eyes, “John… Twenty-two…” slowly dragging each syllable.

“Aha! Thanks for the information, Ten.” The bartender returns with a drink in each hand and puts the glasses back on the surface in front of the customers. The price pops up in the cash register and Johnny pulls the money out of his wallet, not even thinking about the fact that he’s paying for a drink that’s not his.

“I’ll give you money back later, just remind me.” _Ten_ says.

The bartender doesn’t even take a look at Johnnys ID, just takes the money and gives the change back, “Enjoy your _legal_ drinks.” and disappears to the other side of the counter to serve people there.

“Ten… Twenty-one…” Johnny speaks the same way as _Ten_ earlier.

“21 since 1 am this morning.” Ten lifts his glass, as if saying cheers and waits for Johnny to do the same.

And Johnny does exactly so, “Celebrating?”

“Yeah.” They both take a big sip before Ten continues, “I haven’t seen you around.”

Johnny nods slowly, “I’m not from around here, I live in the centre. Just wanted to… I don’t know, clear my head?”

“Aha…You’re alone?” Johnny nods. “You can come join us, if you want. I don’t know how long we’ll be here, but we aren’t the worst company. Plus, since it’s my birthday, I’m _trying_ to pay for the most drinks.”

* * *

Johnny ends up sitting between bunch of strangers – Tens friends, they kick off easily, it’s fun. He can tell all the good things about him and impress the people around him, they laugh a lot and drink a little bit more than Johnny should, but he enjoys this a lot, so it doesn’t matter.

It’s around 4 am when they decide to put an end to this night. At some point Johnnys phone has been passed around in the circle, people adding him on Snapchat, Ten spending more time on it than others.

* * *

Johnnys Thursday goes pretty normal except the small hungover, but he’s the only to blame, so he just has to pretend that it isn’t here. He is having a dinner at some fast food place Taeyong chose when he receives a message from _Ten/Ten_. He opens it curiously, obviously he hasn’t forgotten about the only Ten he knows now, but he didn’t remember exchanging phone numbers. But it’s even more of a surprise when he opens the chat, the first message is “ _Hiiiiiii tennn_ ” and it’s sent from his phone at 1:18 am, he is pretty sure that that isn’t a work of his.

_Hi John, I still owe you money for that drink :( :( :(_

Johnny laughs at the _John_ , Taeyong spares him a second of attention, not asking anything, and goes back to finishing his fries.

_Oh no!! When will you give it to me??_

Is this really the right for of an answer you should give to someone, who you have met only once?

_Hmm, seems like the only free time I  
have is Saturday, 5 pm, at this  
**[location attachment]** café _

* * *

Ten keeps on calling Johnny “John” both times they meet and even through messages, Johnny hasn’t really came around and told that almost nobody calls him like that anymore, but it makes him snicker each time Ten does, so he lets it be. He finds himself thinking about the other often, way more than you should think about your friend, if they even count as friends. After less than a week of playful message exchanges, Johnny mentions that Ten didn’t really give him the money back, just paid for a cup of coffee and a piece of chocolate cake. Ten plays along and they are meeting again for a lunch next weekend.

* * *

“I don’t know, my parents just never were strict about such stuff, like, yeah, they weren’t happy when I came back home at 4 am completely drunk or when I stole cigs from my dad.”

Ten laughs wholeheartedly, sitting opposite Johnny, “You were dumb enough to steal them? Not just get a grown up to buy them to you?” 

While the other talks, Johnny stuffs his mouth with a piece of chicken meat, “We all had our ways, you know. But they let me do stuff and I truly believe that is exactly why I am not drunk twenty-four-seven at this age.”

“Well, I can’t say the same about myself,” Ten takes his cup of coffee in a hand and leans back in the chair, he takes a dramatic sip through the plastic straw, “my parents were ready to ground me at the age of 20! I remember I once had a sleepover with _one_ friend and they decided to check what we’re doing at, like, 1 am and sure as hell we were drunk. My mother got so angry that I wasn’t allowed to be friends with that guy no more, because he was _a bad influence_ even though I was the one who got us alcohol. That’s why I have decided that I’ll do whatever I want for 12 months, once I turn 22, everything will change.” It’s the first of many times Johnny hears this.

And it’s now Johnnys turn to chuckle. Talking with Ten is easy, the conversations flow naturally, one after another. Johnny doesn’t find a moment where he has to think twice about what he’s about to say, because Ten won’t judge, probably will have an even wilder story from his side, or at least Johnny thinks so. The time passes quickly, maybe even at a saddening speed. They don’t arrange another meeting, but Johnny has almost completely planned out another reason to catch Ten with a coffee cup and himself opposite him.

* * *

Ten beats him to it, says that he went to a great dinner place a few days back and it has _bombing_ spaghetti, adding that Johnny had mentioned that it isn’t the worst meal in the world. It’s more on Tens side of the city, so Johnny uses his car to get there, instead just walking to the destination like previous times.

Ten is there before him, not that Johnny tried to dress fancier than usual – it’s still the same black jeans with a grey sweater and the black coat – but Ten is just sitting there in his white pants and deep purple silk shirt with extra-long V cut, which, Johnny guesses, in a breeze of wind would expose more to the public than should, waiting for Johnny. Now, he doesn’t feel bad about the way he is dressed, but he hopes that the other doesn’t take this as if Johnny doesn’t find this as seriously as Ten does, if he does.

The dinner goes good, the spaghetti’s truly more than tasty and Ten doesn’t say anything about his clothes, but neither does he look bothered, so Johnny guesses it’s all okay. They stay longer than either of them expected, everything feels even better with the amount of cheap wine they have drunk. It’s Friday, the amount of people in this place has dropped at least by a half as it’s starting to get too late.

“What do you think about continuing this, but in a different setting?” Sure, Johnny doesn’t want to leave either, but he doesn’t catch what Ten means by a “different setting”, his mind is going too far for a third date, if this is a date. Johnny scrunches his face in confusion, Ten picks up, “Do you wanna go to a club?”

Johnny pretends to scan his outfit before answering, “Not quite dressed for the occasion.”

“Well, I am… I would offer you some of my clothes, since I live closer, but something makes me believe they won’t fit you.”

Johnny doesn’t think much, “If you don’t mind, we can go to my place and I’ll change, then we can go.”

“Don’t you live, like, too far? The walk will make me sleepy.”

He looks at Ten strangely, as if he should know how Johnny moves around, “…I have a car?”

Tens eyes visibly widen slightly, it’s easy to tell that another impression was made, “You have a car??”

Johnny laughs at how dumbfounded his friend looks, “Didn’t I just say so?” He starts to get up, but the other still stays in his seat, “Are you coming or not?”

* * *

When Ten gets in the car, no, even when Johnny presses a button on the keys and the newest looking black Audi in the parking space flashes its lights, he’s in total awe. Johnny knows how well his charismas match with the car he’s driving and how much of a people magnet this combination is. And he can tell how much Ten is already in, especially when they’re one of the few cars driving through the still-wintery city streets in the dark night with pop music playlist on in the background and Johnny says how Ten and his elegant outfit match this car. Johnny side-eyes his reaction, a wide smile slowly spreads from one of his cheeks to the other as he slides down in his seat and a hand comes to hide his eyes.  
It takes a second for Ten to stop being coy and sit up straight again.

* * *

Johnnys apartment is pretty classic, but still fancier than Ten expected. Obviously, the cliché scenario of asking if Ten wants to stay inside instead and then probably have sex, pops in his head, but he quickly dismisses it, he doesn’t feel like it this time. When he exits his bedroom, Ten is still walking around the living room, trying to take in as much as he can, because what are the chances of him ever returning here. They don’t spend much time at his place and chooses the same club they first met at.

* * *

Tens palms on his ears do practically nothing to lessen the volume in the tiny space of the music coming from the other room, but it does work for keeping Johnny in place. The bass keeps hitting his ears making him feel dizzy. The lack of any sources of fresh air and the hot, hurried breathing makes everything feel rather nauseated than seductive. The hard wall against his back is pressing too harshly into his skin, making it hurt and bruise. The sticky hands on his cheeks are too hot, it feels like they’re glued to his skin and each time Ten moves them ever so slightly it feels like he might rip Johnnys skin off. His body is covered in sweat, resulting this in even bigger denial.

He still kisses back, nowhere near as eagerly as Ten does. Going to the toilet to freshen up quickly turned into making out in one of the stalls. Not that it was against Johnnys will, it’s just that it feels like this a completely wrong time and, honestly, he won’t take it any further than lazily kissing back in order to slow Ten down. The plan is to wait until Ten detaches himself probably to take a proper breath and then calmly stop everything at that point.

However, Ten seems to be really into it, taking no breaks. His lips move furiously against another pair, trying to get as deep as possible, as much as possible in the short amount of time and the little privacy they have right now. Johnny can tell that he’s getting tired, Tens palms start to rest more at his hair, his shoulders, the kisses get longer and not so hungry, but when he thinks Ten is about to finish, he leaves Johnnys lips and starts to attack his jaw and neck instead. He lets him do that for a minute, trying not to give in, until Johnny can feel him attempting to leave a hickey on his neck. A sharp ache appears in his right temple and Johnny presses his fingers in the spot. He uses this as a sign, a chance to push Ten slightly away from him with the free hand. The pain quickly spreads around and he can feel his fingertips pulse against the skin. It hurts pretty bad and he keeps his eye shut, forgetting about the other in front of him for a moment.

“ _Shit._ Sorry! I thought- I- You-- _fuck,_ I’m sorry!”  
Johnny can hear shuffling in front of him, the ache has lessened and once he finally opens the eyes, he can see Ten already opening the door and rushing back to the main room. He follows him, not thinking much about it. As soon as the first loud beat reaches his ears, the headache is back more painful than previously, making him wince from the feeling.

Tens figure still lingers in front of his eyes and Johnny tries his best to keep up with him. There’s plenty of space between the people, so it isn’t hard to catch up to Ten. Johnny slows down to check the place they were sitting before and left their unfinished drinks, which still stand at the same spot. When he turns back Ten’s already out of the club, the door almost shuts closed completely, but Johnny manages to stop it with his hand before it closes.

He is already walking towards the spot Johnnys car is parked. The fresh air is the first change he notices. Taking a deep inhale of the cold air, he continues to walk behind Ten. The other difference is Tens face expression when Johnny calls for him to wait up. To say he looks shocked isn’t quite right, maybe even scared. Johnny slows down abruptly, doesn’t exactly stop, but decides to keep a safe distance from the other.

“Um… I’ll go home. Thanks for today.” Ten walks the same pace, awkwardly halfway turned to Johnny, he keeps it like that, not sure if the other will say anything.

Such a simple ending of the night doesn’t feel right to Johnny, “I can give you a ride?”

“No, thanks. I don’t live far.” Tens pace fastens, “Bye.”

Ten fully turns away, striding away from Johnny, hurriedly trying to put on his jacket.  
Johnny’s more than slightly confused by the sudden change of their setting.

* * *

If he thinks it through everything, the little they had, Ten probably just wanted an one night stand and now Johnny can find some clues for it. Catching up with cups of coffee? He checked if Johnny isn’t some kind of murderer or creep. The clothes he wore to the dinner? Definitely seduction. Agreeing to go to Johnnys place? Easier to leave the next day rather than getting the other out. Hell, the “I owe you money” probably meant sex.

Not that it hurt Johnny, but Ten was a nice, new person in his life. The way he left wasn’t some kind of scene, but still felt too rushed and Johnny could tell that Ten didn’t expect him to follow the boy. The short dialogue they had was pure avoidance from one side and Johnny doesn’t understand that. He hopes Ten gets that he didn’t want to make the other feel uncomfortable or unwanted. Johnny goes to bed sulking, slight hope of some new messages on his phone tomorrow.

* * *

Johnny stands in line by the cash register, holding a new knife and a pair of gloves, when a guy he hasn’t seen before starts talking to him and joking around.

“What are you planning to do? Murder somebody?” He knows that some people are too friendly for his liking, but… “I haven’t seen you around in a while.”

Johnny laughs, “You must be confusing me with someone else.”

The person pretends to be thinking for a second and turns out they weren’t wrong, “Aren’t you Johnny? The tall dude from Tens birthday?” 

“Oh, yeah, that’s me.” He doesn’t recall such a man, but he can’t blame himself, he was pretty drunk. “Thought his friends don’t live in this part of the city.” Two more customers and it’s his turn.

“Yeah, we kind of don’t, but more things happen in the city centre, so…” The man still haven’t introduced himself, so this conversation is pretty much useless and Johnny pretends to be more interested than he really is. “You live around here?”

Not to be alert, but you shouldn’t expose your address to a stranger, even though you’ve met, probably once, “Yeah, not far. I’m renting a pretty spacey apartment.”

The man nods slowly, the line moves again. “So, where have you been? Ten hasn’t talked about you either.”

Ah, yes _Ten_. They haven’t talked since that one thing back in February. Johnny had almost forgotten about him, as only the old conversation at the bottom of his message app is the thing that reminds of him sometimes. It has been a few months, so Ten not talking about him with his friends doesn’t bother Johnny at all.

“We kind of didn’t kick off,” He laughs to ease the answer, “and I don’t have any other business on that side.” The cashier is trying to find the barcode on the pair of gloves.

“I see… Well, if you want to hang out any other time add me on Facebook. I’m Dong Sicheng,” The man extends his hand for Johnny to shake, and he does so, “we can chat up there.”

“Okay, I’ll try to find you.” He pays and doesn’t wait for the receipt, “See you soon then!”

* * *

Spring is at its full bloom. The birds are returning to their abandoned nests, the flowers are showing their different colours, boring brown tones of the trees branches have changed to fresh, juicy green. The sun isn’t quite heating the air to the point it’s unbearable, but enough for Johnnys coat to start to annoy him. Just like the weeds in his balcony flower boxes, which seems to grow at a rapid speed and coming back home and having the red cyclamens interrupted by long, light green stems isn’t in his good things list.

But they aren’t here, though the coat is. Mark is accompanying him on a lazy supper in a pretty known café. Many variations of different foods and cheap prices have made this place favourite for many since student days. Their teas are getting cold on the side, while the bowls of food are receiving most of the attention. It’s a chill evening, both outside and judging by the atmosphere, there’s no hurry today, Friday has rolled around relatively quickly, not much happening this week.

Mark is telling Johnny about some kind off a group project his friends are procrastinating on way too much, when a familiar figure appears by the entrance doors, shifting Johnnys attention towards them. Even if they have been texting, they haven’t been texting about meeting up, but here he is, Sicheng, who has noticed the pair of eyes on him, recognizing them as his acquaintance. Johnny doesn’t break their eye contact, inviting the other to sit by their table without any words. Sicheng does so, taking the seat next to Mark, opposite Johnny, startling the boy in the process and ending his boring rant about shitty school life.

Mark strangely looks at the newcomer, meanwhile Johnny exchanges friendly small talk with the man. Johnny introduces the strangers one to another and asks Sicheng what is he doing in the city centre again.

“We went to the new bakery and then I decided to buy a gift to my mom, and we separated. Decided to meet up here.” He simply explains, “They should be here soon.”

“See, an actual, nice reason to come to here with your friends, not ‘I’m too lazy to cook dinner, lets go somewhere’.” Johnny only pretends to roll his eyes at Marks comment, Sicheng politely chuckles.

They spend some more time chatting about different topics, Sicheng not ordering anything, because as soon as his friends arrive, they have to head to the bus stop. Conversations flow easily, Johnny thinks about inviting the new one to one of his friend group Wednesday shenanigans even if he for a fact doesn’t live near places they tend to go.  
  


After a few more minutes of talking, Sichengs face lits up at yet another sound of an opening door and suddenly he isn’t looking at either of the males, but right past Johnny, behind his right shoulder. He disinterested waits for some new people to appear by their table, not bothering to turn around and check for himself, but the smile on Sichengs face and the usual curious look Mark has on most of the day, makes Johnny turn to his side just a little bit. Following their table newcomers eyes, Johnny quickly finds the familiar face of Ten among the crowded place. And another guy, which may or may not be the bartender from that shitty day Johnny had back in winter, whose arm is comfortably placed over the shorter shoulders, showing something enthusiastically on the phone. Neither of them spare the table a glance until Sicheng calls their names out. _Kun and Ten. Kun._ Johnny notes.

At first, Ten looks at Sicheng, then probably at Mark and as soon as he recognizes Johnny, his pleasant smile falls and he gets visibly stiffer. _Kun_ even takes his arm off of his friend. Johnny however, keeps on smiling, almost enjoying the way he seems like the bigger person in this situation.

Kun speaks up, telling Sicheng that they should go right now if they aren’t planning on spending another hour in the city centre wandering around. Sicheng quickly obeys and excuses himself from Mark and Johnny. He gets up and checks his bag before swinging it over his shoulder.

“What do you do on Wednesdays?”

Sicheng looks at Johnny unsure if the question was meant for him, “Uh… I don’t know, depends. Why you’re asking?”

“We go out on Wednesdays, if you are interested, I’ll send you a message next time.”

The boy smiles and nods his head, saying the last byes and leaving together with his own friends.

* * *

“If _you_ aren’t taking him, _I_ am!” Yuta deadly looks into Johnnys eyes, slamming his fist on the table right next to the elders half-full glass. Johnny watches the liquid inside shake and that together with the seriousness of Yutas voice makes him laugh when he looks at his friend. “What? You think you’re better than me?” Yuta straightens up, sending another angry glare at Johnny.

“I _know_ I’m better than you. And I don’t care about Sicheng, I mean- not in a, like, romantic way.” Johnny places his hand on Yutas shoulder, squeezing it lightly as if reassuring his previous statement. “He’s all yours! Unless if he doesn’t want to be yours. Then we will have a problem.” He theatrically wiggles his index finger in the air as a warning.

Yuta scrunches his face, “Who doesn’t want _me_?”

Johnny doesn’t respond to him, just looks back at the glass in his hand and takes another sip from it. The strong drink slightly burns his throat, but he is used to this already, nothing new.

“Where did you find him anyway?” Yuta asks again genuinely interested.

“Stop talking about him like he’s a thing. Why do you so suddenly care about some random guy?” The elder asks teasingly sending a smirk to Yuta, “What, you like him? Like how fucking pretty he is?”

Yuta turns away, properly seating himself in his spot, he lifts his own glass to his lips before answering, “But he is _fucking_ pretty.” He takes another sip, “Do you know some secret that I don’t? That’s why you don’t like him?”

Johnny actually thinks about it, surprising himself, “No, he’s just not my type I think.”

“Oh,” Yuta drags, “what’s your type then?” He drinks again, this time consuming way more than previously.

The elder thinks again about the people he has met recently and who have stayed over at his place. One who Johnny liked more than others was a young looking guy, with bleached hair, slightly shorter than himself, but turned out to be only a month or so older. Another one was a _really_ short dude, they made out a little, but turns out he had too much to drink and passed out quickly. And even before that was yet another short guy, with raven black hair and pretty dark eyelashes, but he’d rather had a one night-stand than him technically running away.  
“Short ones—“

“Like me?”

“No, screw you.” Johnny thinks about it more, there’s has to be more things that attract him. “Pretty eyes and dark hair, I guess. I’ve never really thought about it that much.”

Yuta hums in response, taking another relatively big shot from his drink, meanwhile Johnny sips his own slowly, they still need to get home somehow. Some time passes without either of them talking, it’s comfortable. Until they both notice Sicheng nearing them, Yuta straightens up and relaxes in his seat. Johnny only watches, not saying any teasing comments.

Sicheng sits down next to Yuta, Johnny guesses because the bench on his other side ends. Even if there’s a polite space between his friends, Yuta gives the other a smile too bright and Sicheng puts his hands in his lap, under the table. “Johnny, do you still have Tens number?”

Yuta definitely isn’t happy about being ignored, but that doesn’t bother Johnny, “I think, yeah. I don’t remember deleting it.” He shrugs his shoulders.

“My phone died. Can I text him from yours?”

“Sure.” Johnny pats his jeans pocket until finds the one with the device in it and gives it to the boy without worries.

He takes it mouthing a _thank you_ , still not paying attention to quite the stranger between them. Sicheng starts tapping on the screen furiously, when Yuta decides to speak up. “Texting your boyfriend?” The teasing tone doesn’t bother the boy, but the move sure makes Johnnys skin crawl.

“I don’t have a boyfriend. Ten’s my friend, Johnnys ex.”

Yuta spares less attention to the first sentence, rather than the second and dramatically turns to Johnny.

“He’s not my _ex_.”

Yuta squints his eyes is disbelief, but turns back to try and get Sicheng have a proper conversation with him, which seems to be succeeding until the youngest gives Johnny back his phone and gets up to leave. Yuta almost _runs_ to walk with Sicheng to the door, Johnny finds it amusing.

* * *

Johnny thinks his alarm is going off, but soon recognizes the different ringtone – a phone call. He gives himself a moment to adjust to the headache and the light of the day, chilly air is coming from the window, so it’s still early, too early. He rolls over, so he could reach the nightstand by his bed, where he, thank god, has put his phone on charging. His finger slides over the screen automatically, eyes halfway closed, not ready for the bright screen.

“Hello?” His throat sounds pretty sore for the little amount of alcohol he drank, he must be getting old.

“Sicheng?” The voice on the other end isn’t recognizable immediately.

“No, this is Johnny.”

There’s a brief pause from the caller, “Is Sicheng with you?”

Johnny thinks back quickly and easily recalls arriving home alone, “No.”

“When did he leave yesterday?” The next question comes too quickly for tired man.

He sighs deeply, bringing his fingers to the bridge of his nose, massaging it slightly. “Uh, not late, around midnight I believe. Yuta went with him, maybe he’s there.  
Wait, do you know Yuta? Who is— Who am I talking to?”

“Ten?”

Johnny moves the phone away from his ear to check if that’s really Ten, the caller wasn’t lying, “Oh, yeah, sorry, didn’t recognize you. Sichengs phone turned off and knowing Yuta charger is the last thing he thinks about.”

“Gross.” Ten makes a disgusted sound. “Can you give me Yutas number? Sicheng _technically_ has work in an hour.”

Johnny hums, “I’ll send it to you, he won’t be happy about such an early call though.”

Ten laughs, “Were you?”

He thinks about answering some cheesy stuff, such as _only if it’s from you_ or _I wouldn’t have picked up otherwise_ , but the fact that they aren’t even friends and this call is about Sicheng, makes him surpass the thoughts. “Now that you ask, not really.” Johnny chuckles.

There’s another long silent moment, which doesn’t bother Johnny, because he’s too sleepy to catch on on that, but Ten on the other end doesn’t seem to be ending the call either.

“Also, I’m, um… sorry.” Tens voice gets really quiet at the end part.

“Sorry?”

“Yeah, about that, that night. At the club over here. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—to, like, push your limits. Or something.”

First thought that occurs Johnnys mind is said aloud, “That was like months ago.” He can hear a breathy _yeah_ , but nothing else follows that. “Don’t stress about it. I just wasn’t feeling it that night. I hope it didn’t bother you all this time. It’s really nothing.”

* * *

Johnny does send Ten Yutas phone number, but asks for a payment before. And since the younger really needs to find out Sichengs location in the following 15 minutes, he agrees to meet with Johnny again, this time the elder choosing the place.

* * *

One, two, three and another one _date_ and Ten is jokingly complaining about eating out – it’s too expensive and the portions tend to be too small or the food doesn’t even taste as good as the price is. The summer is almost here, so going out soon would mean getting an ice cream or a cup of sweet drink and spending way less money, plus enjoying the time outside more. It’s not Johnnys turn to offer an evening plan, but he can’t help it when Ten sends yet another message this week telling that _he has never been this exhausted_ and _sends prayers for his workmates fast recovery_.

Johnny excuses himself telling that this isn’t their usual going-out, but just a simple movie at his place, nothing special, many of his friends do that. Ten didn’t seem to be fully made up his mind until Friday when Johnny went to his workplace and picked him up, while Tens colleagues were left watching how he gets in an expensive car and leaves.

Johnnys living room is big, the couch – huge, not to mention the plasma TV hanging on the wall, with all the fancy game consoles and speakers around. Ten feels like he doesn’t belong here, this is too elegant for him. Johnny feels like a fish in the water running around the place, bringing some bedding into the living room, telling Ten where dishes are placed in the endless cupboards and shelves, looking for things to snack on. 

They’re soon on the couch, deep into the mass of pillows and duvets with food being out of their reach and both too lazy to move. Johnny listens to Ten more than the movie in the background. He’s truly into his friends work stories and struggles, Johnnys other friends don’t really talk about their jobs, they expect others to already know how most of the time it goes. Ten telling him about all of the unknown people, quite the different environment it is outside the city centre. Johnny tries to respond him as much as possible, but he can’t really relate to the others situation. His work isn’t full of communication with other people or constantly having to think of different ways for working problems out. He has uncountable amount of example sheets and all he does is fill them in with the information sent to him and sends the paperwork to another person. If he thinks about it, Tens simple work seems way more interesting.

It falls silent after a while and Johnny actually focuses on the film, for a moment forgetting about his friend. He does remember about him, when a light snoring can be heard over the dialogue in the movie. Johnny turns his head and Ten has truly fallen asleep. The original plan was that Johnny would take him back to his own place right after the movie, the elder had an idea to try and convince Ten to stay over, but now that he himself has gone to sleep here, there’s nothing to do about it.

Johnny looks back at the big screen in front of him, at the untouched food and back at Ten. He debates whether it is worth continuing watching film or he should try to fall asleep too, technically it’s not his usual sleep time yet, but just in a case the sound effects would make his friend wake up, Johnny digs around to find the remote and turns off the TV. The room is almost silent, only the rhythmic breathing is breaking it. Johnny makes himself more comfortable and falls asleep.

* * *

It happens for many more times. They aren’t interested in going to some fancy place or have other plans suddenly cancelled. Staying over for the night _unintentionally_ , then there’s breakfast in the morning by the one whose house they’re staying in and they end it there, parting their way for the rest of the day.

* * *

Yuta has been losing in each round of this game, usually getting killed within the first three minutes, leaving Johnny to carry the victory for their duo while he uses this time to speak nonsense. Johnny pretends to listen, well he actually does, what other choice does he have, but the game takes most of his attention and Yuta doesn’t mind.

“By the way, when were you going to tell me about your boyfriend? Your ex-boyfriend boy

friend.”

“What are you talking about?”

Yuta pretends to be checking his nails and speaks in lazy tone, “You tell me. A little birdie has given me some clues on where you tend to disappear in your free time.”

“I’m literally sitting next to you, playing games.”

The younger yawns, oh, the acting he’s going to put on. “Yeah, watch me fall asleep and you will disappear from the city centre.” Johnny doesn’t pay any attention to the sarcastic answer, leaving the other unsatisfied, “Would have expected to at least introduce us or mention him somewhere, but now I have to find everything out from a _stranger_!”

“Oh, poor you!”

“Wow, you really don’t care? I already stole Sicheng, might as well steal Ten.”

Okay, he might have not told anything much to Yuta, but is even there much to tell?  
“What do you have to do with Ten?” Johnnys character hasn’t died yet, but he puts down his controller, ready to act along his friend.

“Might as well be dating him, since you don’t care.”

“Oh, trust me, we would have known if you had changed your partner again.”

Yuta pretends to be hurt, he clutches his chest and pretends to be shocked. “Changed? I’m not even dating! I’m waiting for my one and only! Why would you accuse me like that!”

Johnny puts his hands on each of Yutas shoulders, gripping them slightly and looking directly in his friends eyes, “Yuta! If you’re still there somewhere inside this alien, blink twice! I’ll save you!”

The sound of someone dying in the games echoes through the big living space and both males turn back to the TV screen. Yuta shakes out of Johnnys hold and quickly finds his controller to start a new round immediately. The elder does the same, repositioning himself, so he would be facing the big screen.

As if the previous conversation didn’t happen, Yuta speaks up again, this time sounding way more serious than teasing, “Yeah, but who is Ten though? All I know is that Sicheng and him are friends and that Ten texts and talks about you a lot.”

“A friend, we met at his birthday party and—“

“Yes, I know that too, skip the basics.”

Johnny sighs, “Well, I don’t know. He truly is a friend. We hang out a few times a week, but it’s really nothing.” He shrugs at the end.

The next round has started and due to Johnny surprise, Yuta is still able to hold an actual conversation during the battle. “A friend who you hang out if it’s only the two of you? You sure?”

Before answering, the elder thinks back about it. There’s really nothing romantic between them. Sure, they meet up often and stay over time to time, but there being something more than friendly chats and teasing? Not that Johnny could put a finger on it. Ten’s very cool though, he is nice and enjoys his simple life, not yearning for more, Johnny finds it engaging. Actually, Ten himself said that… “He doesn’t want to date. Well, not until he’s twenty-two or something. Doesn’t really matter to me.”

“Until he’s twenty-two?” Yuta asks specifically.

“It’s a long story, basically he has strict parents and now does everything he wants for a year.”

Yuta hums slowly, a pause follows, then he asks carefully, “And do you like him?”

Johnny shrugs his shoulders again, not taking his eyes off the screen, “He’s cool, but, like, if he doesn’t want anything, I won’t push it.”

“Well… Sicheng said that Ten seems to be pretty hooked. _Fuck_!” Yutas hero gets killed once again and he cups his face in his hands, throwing his controller on a pillow in the process.

* * *

Summer has been treating people good with the warm weather and little to no precipitation. They’re in the local park, sitting on a blanket which is now covered with pieces of grass and tiny branches. Ten is doodling something in his sketchbook what he brought along him and Johnny is trying to finish his popsicle before it manages to melt and get his hands sticky.

“Are you planning on going on a vacation?”

Ten doesn’t lift up his eyes from the line the pencil makes, “Yeah, I already handed in the papers. Next week is my last.” He puts the pencil down, now using the hand to rest his chin on it, “You?”

“I mean,” Johnnys struggling to catch all the little droplets of juice that are dangerously close to sliding off, “I can go pretty much whenever I want.”

“Mhm, lucky.”

“Have any plans?” There are two droplets, each on the other side of the cold candy.

“Not really,” Ten looks at Johnny and then down at his candy, “Kun, Sicheng keep working, others are planning to visit their families, I kind of don’t want to.”

“I get it.” Johnny goes for the one on the right side and manages to catch the sweetness before it falls down. However, the other one lands on his white t-shirt, staining it slightly pink, Johnny looks at it, thinking if it is worth doing something.

Ten laughs and reaches for the water bottle, hidden in the shadow to keep it cool. He beats Johnny to doing something. Ten removes the cap from the bottle and scoots over, closer to the other. Not thinking about it twice, he slides his hand underneath Johnnys shirt, placing his palm right under the dirty spot and lifting it slightly up, so it would stand horizontally. Tens fingertips are touching Johnnys chest and making his heart speed up the way it shouldn’t. The younger pours a little bit of the clear liquid on the shirt, puts the bottle down and rubs the stain with the other hand.

Johnny is left watching at Ten, who works at his shirt, accidently touching him each time he tries to brush out the pinkness, “Wanna go somewhere for a few days?”

Ten looks up to the elder, confirming that he really is offering it to him and quickly looks back down, “I’d like to, but…”

“But?”

“I’m kind of saving up to get a drivers license… and hopefully a car after, I don’t really want to spend money right now.” Ten takes the bottle to pour some more water and Johnny takes a look at the spot that is almost invisible now.

“I invite you, so I’m paying.”

Ten laughs putting the bottle down again, “If you were talking about dinner, yeah, not a trip.”

Johnny now is looking at Ten, not at his hands. His eyelashes genuinely are so beautiful, from this angle you can see how dark and thick they actually are, explaining why it looks like Ten is wearing eyeliner every day. “What if I already reserved us places?”

The other furrows his brows, “Why would you do that? Don’t they need exact dates?”

“That’s exactly what I was going to find out today and tell them tomorrow.” No, you weren’t.

“Johnny, you really shouldn’t.” Ten looks at the wet spot on the clothing for a second, “Don’t spend money on me, better save it up.”

Johnny tilts his head to the side, “It’s my money, I can spend it how I want.” Even if he didn’t want to sound harsh, it still didn’t come out quite the way it should, “So you’re free after the next week, huh?”

Ten sighs, removing the hand from underneath the shirt and smooths down the shirt, the wet spot against Johnnys warm skin makes his abdomen tingle and his body suddenly stiffens. He hopes that Ten didn’t notice it and doesn’t change anything in his stance.  
“What if I don’t like the place?” He smiles up to Johnny and the feeling in his gut shouldn’t be there.

“Then we can leave if you want.”

“Where are we going though?”

If it was any other person in front of Johnny right now he would have probably leaned down and placed a kiss on their forehead, but not this time, this time he smiles mysteriously, “That’s a surprise!”

* * *

Most of the people are deep in sleep at this hour, but not Johnny. Johnny has exactly 12 tabs open in his internet browser on his computer, each one containing a different travel offer, with various plans and attractions. What if he does choose the wrong one and Ten doesn’t like it? Will he even tell Johnny that he isn’t enjoying his time there? Johnny rubs his eyes again and goes through the chain of thoughts he made hours ago.  
Ten dances, so he probably likes something artsy, Ten is from Thailand, so a place where it is warm would be a better choice, he tends to go out for drinks, so it should be a place with fancy bars, he doesn’t like fruits, that’s a thing. Johnny also wants something that would truly surprise him.

He’s too tired and sleepy, but once again reminds himself that he is the one at fault for this. Not that he regrets offering it to Ten, but couldn’t he come up with something more reasonable? What happened, happened. Going back and telling Ten that he can’t go or lie about something else wouldn’t be a good move. _A move?_ What _move?_ _You’re planning a few days off with a friend, nothing more._

* * *

“Oh my god, Johnny, you didn’t have to.” Ten turns to Johnny who still is standing by the doors, “I don’t know how I will ever repay you.” He drops his bags on the floor and goes back to the elder smiling, throwing his arms around him, “Thank you, I don’t deserve this, but thank you.”

Before Johnny can return the hug, Ten has already reattached from him and is heading towards the huge glass window with a view of the beach, he opens the door leading to the balcony, but just to let the fresh air in.

“Which bed are you taking?” Johnny asks. He thought a lot whether he should book a place with one or separate beds and ended up deciding that Ten probably would more appreciate a bed to himself.

“Oh, I’ll allow you to choose first.”  
Johnny throws his backpack on the one near him, Ten rushes past him to get his stuff from the middle of the hallway, “Is there a plan or we can do whatever we—you want?”

“There are things I’ve planned to do, but I think we should go with the flow. But if something catches your eye, we will do that!” The elder answers enthusiastically, sitting down on his bed and smoothing down the crinkles on his duvet with his hand.

Ten nods, distracting himself with slowly unpacking his things.

* * *

There’s a weekly party every Friday – campfires, live music by some local band, a bar, bunch of pretty lights hung around and a lot of people. _That_ was supposed to be the climax of their holidays, but even if Ten looks extra good tonight, Johnny can easily tell that his friend isn’t feeling this at all. They sit by one of dirty white plastic tables organizers have set up, there are many different snacks on the top and they each have a different cocktail in intense colours. If Johnnys glass is nearing to being empty, then the glass opposite him has been barely touched. The answers Ten gives feels almost forced and the way he tries to keep the conversation going doesn’t give Johnny a good feeling at all. _Does Ten dislike this_?

“Are you… good? We can do something else if you don’t want to be here.”

Ten looks up from his phone, head resting on his hand, “No, it’s okay. I’ve just gotten a little tired.”

Johnny doesn’t buy his excuse, he was just fine hours ago and they haven’t done anything much today. “We can go back to the hotel and catch up on some sleep then.”

The younger immediately shakes his head in denial, “No, no. We should stay, it will get better, no worries.” Ten turns back to scrolling time away on his phone, Johnny doesn’t want to _bother_ him.

Maybe he should pretend to be tired too and they both would leave, then possibly Ten wouldn’t feel guilty for going away. Or he should try and cheer him up somehow, but the drinks doesn’t seem to work this time and the band hasn’t started playing, so no one’s dancing yet.

Johnny had pretty big expectations for tonight, no lie. In his head he planned to eat something before getting drunk from sweet ‘tropical’ drinks, then he would dance until his legs would start to hurt and he could find a quieter spot after, so when he’s pleasantly tired and still slightly drunk he could have a talk with Ten. Well, everything would be done with Ten. But not all fantasies come true, at least not this one. They probably won’t make it to the last step, so he decides to try and have a _talk_ with the other now.

“Have you suddenly turned twenty-two and stopped drinking?” Johnny sends Ten a smile, when he again looks up from the screen.

“Oh, no, it’s just…” The unsure tone of his voice gives out the fact that he’s actually looking for words to explain himself, not even considering that the question was a joke, “…not my taste. Reminds me of apples.”

“What is your taste then?” The elder asks, cocking his head to the side and lifting his eyebrow up.

Ten doesn’t seem to catch the true meaning of this sentence either, “Well, definitely nothing fruity, maybe something sour. I don’t know, just not fruits.” He doesn’t ask back _and what’s yours?_ or _is yours the same?_ and Johnny can’t give the flirty answers he had planned in his head.

“Do you want me to get something else for you?” Johnny takes the last sip from his glass and shakes it in front of him, “I want another one.”

“No, thank you.” That’s it. That’s the answer, and it manages to irritate something inside the elder.

Johnny gives a quiet _okay_ back as he stands up, the chair moving back unwillingly in the sand. When their table is some metres behind him, he sighs loudly and ruffles his hair in frustration. _What is he supposed to do?  
_He stands by the bar and waits until the people in front of him will get their wishes fulfilled. A small group of people get in the line behind him and one of the guys starts a friendly conversation with Johnny, asking where he’s from, they haven’t seen him at other parties, how long he is staying here, if he would like to join them. Johnny notes that this is the only easy conversation he has had this evening. Those people really cheer him up, they even tell him where their spot is – just in a case he and his friend get bored tonight.

Johnny gets himself a different – stronger drink and starts to head back to their table, feeling better. However, as soon as the table is in his sight, the absence of Ten is unnoticeable. His drink still stands where it was. Johnny places his glass down and looks around at the other people, at the bar, the stage that’s still empty. The shore also doesn’t have the familiar figure around. He was away for maybe 10, 15 minutes, time passed quickly while chatting. Ten can’t have gone anywhere far. Johnny pulls out his phone as he sits down. All he has to do is turn on the phones screen and a notification of message from Ten is there.

_Sorry, I’m not feeling well. I’ll be in the hotel, sorry again._

The man puts the phone down, so he couldn’t see the screen. He didn’t open the message, so Ten doesn’t know that he had read it. Johnny throws his head back and stares at the darkening sky for a moment. Has he done something wrong? He literally has been trying to seem like a _good guy_ so much in the days they’ve spent here and if this is what he gets in return, he’s going to make the best out of it. Johnny gathers his things and goes off to search the group of people who he talked with before.

* * *

He doesn’t want to wake up, because Ten is up and the awkward atmosphere is too much for a hungover Johnny. At first he was woken up 4 hours after his return – Ten was taking a shower and the sound of plastic bottles hitting the floor had woken Johnny up, he tried to fall back asleep, but ended up listening throughout the whole showering process, shuffling around in the room and leaving this place, 9:17 am, then Johnny goes back to sleep. The next time his sleep got interrupted was maybe 2 hours after, when Ten returned back. Johnny didn’t move a muscle when he heard his friend approach the bed he is sleeping in, but he soon returned back to moving stuff around the room anyway, not waking the elder up. Now Johnny isn’t really sleeping, he’s just laying in bed, kind of pretending to not be up, listening to what is happening around, but mostly getting lost in his fantasies.

By what he had heard, Ten now is on the balcony, calling someone, the talk isn’t short, but Johnny can barely hear anything, because the glass door is closed. The call ends as soon as the door handle is touched, Ten says a hushed bye to someone and, by the way he seems to be doing everything as quietly as possible, is still buying the fake fact that Johnny is still asleep.

The other bed creaks ever so slightly, the elder guesses that Ten is either laying there or just sat down. The complete silence in the room makes Johnny uneasy, he would like to change his position, but that would probably make Ten realise that he isn’t in such a deep sleep anymore. At one point Ten deeply sighs and stands up again. There are a row of very familiar sounds, that doesn’t make sense in Johnnys mind until the last second, until one of the sounds he identifies as suitcases handle being pushed down.

A thought of Ten leaving comes in his mind and he quickly turns around to see what the other is doing. Even if Johnnys eyes can’t handle the bright light coming from the window, he can clearly see Ten by the start of the hallway, with his backpack on and his black suitcase in one hand. The look on his face is worried.

“Where are you going?” Johnny asks, sitting up. The fresh air in the room hits his skin, reminding that he was too lazy to change into pyjamas and went to sleep only in his boxers.

Ten doesn’t react in any way, just relaxes his face, “I’m leaving.” It doesn’t click together in Johnnys head that what he is saying is true, he doesn’t get a chance to ask anything more, Ten speaks up again. “I paid for the hotel for the previous days.” Ten hardens the hold on the handle.

That wasn’t something Ten was supposed to do by his plan. “What? Why—why would you do that?” Johnny’s suddenly wide awake, sitting on the edge of the bed, halfway covered with a blanket.

“It seemed only fair to me. Thank you for everything though, it was nice.”

Johnny just doesn’t understand what is going on in Tens head. “You’re really going? Why are you leaving? I, I have to pack too,” he reaches for his backpack and starts to blindly throw things from the nightstand in it, “give me 15 minutes.” His head is hurts so badly, but he doesn’t have the time to register it.

“No, you can stay!” The tone of Tens voice is somewhat encouraging.

Johnny stops, “I can stay?” The sentence mockingly repeats in his head, “Ten, what the fuck?”

“Listen, I really have to go if I don’t want to miss my train- ”

“ _Train_?!!” Johnny drops his backpack on the floor and looks at Ten is disbelief. He doesn’t want an answer, but he wants to understand what is going on, nothing’s coming out and they’re left in the silence again. It’s too much fur such a bad evening and not a better start of the day.

“Thank you and I’m sorry for ruining it.” Ten proceeds to really disappear from Johnnys sight and the entrance door closes just as quickly as it opened.

Johnny just sits without any movements for a moment, trying to wrap his head around what _the fuck_ just happened and that this isn’t one of his drunk dreams. He looks at Tens bed and it’s empty for real, there’s no sign that someone would have slept there just a few hours ago, it’s even neatly made. He can’t express the emotions inside him now, his body feels full not only from the alcoholic drinks. His head suddenly drops and he’s just staring at the floor now. Did he really do something wrong? He plays with his fingers while thinking back to the days they’ve spent here and to Johnny at least everything seems to be perfectly fine. Maybe even too good.  
He lies back down on his bed and closes the eyes again, now listening to the silence that fills up the room and the sounds of the city far, far away.

  
An idea pops in his mind, it’s dumb and he will most likely end up making a fool out of himself, but he’s already standing up with a groan and rushing towards his own suitcase. The first pair of shorts he finds are quickly on his legs, Johnny grabs the same button up he wore yesterday from the end of his bed and halfway slips into some pair of shoes that are left by the doors. He doesn’t mind to close the shirt, as soon as he’s out of the room, Johnny’s running as fast as his legs can carry him today through the empty corridors until he reaches the stairs and then proceeds to take every other step at the best case, just to get down as quickly as possible. The stairs feel endless, the speed and constant turning making him feel dizzy, although their room is only on the fifth floor. Something is telling him that it is too late, he shouldn’t have lied on his bed again, but the adrenaline easily overpowers it and soon Johnny is in the lobby, his eyes scanning every part of it and prying to find Ten. But he doesn’t seem to be here and Johnny starts to slow down, so the people around wouldn’t complain to the staff about a man who runs around, waking others up.

He gives it another shot and carefully looks at every corner of the room, every group of guests, while making his way to one of the empty benches to take a seat. Still nothing, disappointed he sits down and his body automatically slumps down. He breathes deeply to recover from the run and calm himself down, but as more breaths he takes, the more the situation settles in him. Johnny feels just as sad as he is confused. _Maybe something happened and he had to go back immediately, maybe he got sick, maybe he doesn’t like you and all the interactions are just because you reach out._ He distracts himself by properly tying his shoes and slowly buttoning up his shirt, the small pocket on it is still heavy from the night, meaning that his wallet is still with him.

Johnny decides to go for a walk to clear his mind, he could have breakfast somewhere if anything will look appealing to him. He gets up and slides his hands in the pockets of the dark shorts, his phone is in his room. Johnny believes that it’s for good.

The air outside is way warmer than back in his room, it’s also way louder with all the talking people and different vehicles driving around. There’s only one road that allows you to enter and leave the territory of the hotel, near the building there is a big parking lot for the guests, Johnny easily finds his car among the others. A few hundred metres further is the low, metallic fence with gates, which most of the time stay open, just like now. Johnny greets the guards before passing them and stepping outside the building territory, in to the city. He looks at the road in front of him, thinking about the direction he should head to. On his right is the road that will take you to the beach and places near the shore, but he definitely isn’t carving any sea food for breakfast. The road on the left has many special parking places in a row for taxis, near one there’s the familiar black suitcase with Ten sitting on top of it and looking down on his phone.

Johnny actually considers pretending to not have seen his friend and head to the opposite direction or cross the road and go left anyway. Wouldn’t that be only fair? To leave Ten in confusion too, just like he did to Johnny. But Johnny can’t do such a thing, his friend probably hasn’t even noticed that he has appeared outside the gates. Johnny runs his fingers through his brown locks and staring down on the pavement, walks towards Ten without a hurry.

Ten really didn’t notice Johnny until he’s only a few metres away from him. When the elder stops, leaving a polite distance between them, and looks up, Ten has the same expression on his face as that night outside the club, maybe Johnny should have gone to the beach.

Ten takes out his earphones and locks his phone, darting his eyes away from Johnny, “I’m waiting for my taxi.”

“I thought you said _you have to go now_ _or you’ll be late._ ” Johnny’s slightly surprised by how threatening his voice sounds, almost demanding.

The younger hangs his head low, now looking at the pavement and twisting his phone in hands. “I still have a few spare minutes.”

Johnny nods his head slowly. By the way his hands are still in pockets and Ten is sitting down in front of him, Johnny feels like he has more power and dominion in this situation. “So, mind explaining why you want to leave so suddenly?”

Ten doesn’t say anything, Johnny hopes he feels guilty, “I just want to go home.”

The elder chuckles, he didn’t want to do that, he doesn’t know where it came from. “Weren’t you just fine yesterday morning? Didn’t we have a deal that we will leave when we want?” His voice stays monotone.

“ _You_ don’t have to do the things _I_ want.” His voice is tight, making the other feel the guilt now.

“But what if I want to do that?” Johnny dares to take a step closer, he sees how Tens legs get closer to each other.

He sighs before answering, “That’s the problem.”

“How is such a thing a problem?”

Ten stands up and moves to stand on the other side of the suitcase, so it would be between them, “Johnny, _friends_ don’t do the things we do.”

“And what? That’s a problem?” Deep down Johnny knows that Ten doesn’t want to have any kind of other relation to people rather than just being friends with them, but he also was pretty sure that Ten would make an exception.

“Yes, it is. Listen, I don’t want to—”

“So, you don’t like me then?” Is this too much straight to the point? Probably. Will he get another chance to ask this? Probably not.

The short boy seems to have also noticed the yellow car nearing them. He takes his time with repositioning the bag on his shoulders. “Yes, I don’t like you.”

That hits Johnny harder than he had expected. Surely, Ten isn’t the first one to say that he wasn’t interested in him in such a way, but his chest suddenly getting tight and making it hard to breathe tells him that this one won’t be that easy to let go as others were. Ten continues with examining his pockets, not sparing a glance to the latter, as if what he just said truly doesn’t hold any meaning to him.

“And that’s it? You won’t talk to me again?” He flatly asks again.

The taxi saves Ten from giving the answer, as soon as the car stops next to them he’s moving away from Johnny towards the doors. The driver gets out and goes to help with the suitcase, professionally placing it in the car as quickly as possible. Johnny just watches, his fingers playing with the fabric inside the pockets. The driver, who seems like a middle aged man with thick moustache, warmly smiles at Johnny, the man doesn’t want to look rude to a stranger and forces a smile back. Johnny takes it as a sign to leave himself and proceeds to still head to the left road, so the taxi would drive off in the opposite direction.

* * *

The amount of unfinished paperwork piling on his desk at the work building really is taking a tool on Johnny. Meanwhile others try and get the best out of the free hours after work, he’s stuck with a folder of bunch of white sheets and a screen that hurts his eyes in front of him. Evenings working at home pass way too fast and this week has been work and sleep continuously one after another. Johnny tells himself that it’s okay, this isn’t the first time he goes through such a phase, and he earns damn good money out of this after all. Also luck slightly seems to be on his side, as he hasn’t ruined a single document so far and he’s already an hour away from his usual sleep time, meaning that he has technically filling papers for almost 14 hours today.

It isn’t like completely _nothing_ else happens now, his friends drop by and spend some time at his place, they also tend to get lunch together. Last Sunday Johnny went to a waterpark with Jaehyun and Mark, even though it was full of people he still had a good time.

He receives another message from Yuta who’s talking about going to Japan and trying to convince friends to tag along, even if he plans to spend most of the time with his family. Johnny doesn’t check his phone, but decides to put an end to work today.

Every muscle feels like it hasn’t been moved in years, so before looking for something to call a dinner, he gives every part of his body a good stretch. The way his bones crack makes him feel strangely relive and relaxed. Deeply sighing, he puts the water to boil to make a cup of tea and checks his fridge for food which could be quickly prepared.

Johnny eats in a silent apartment, any lights or sounds will only worsen the headache, he knows it by previous experiences. The view outside of the window makes him almost sad. People are still enjoying the last of heat what is left from the day, walking around and playing. A single man is sitting on the bench under one of the trees by the street, but soon two small children run up to him, one taking a seat in his lap, while the second one stays on their legs and offers something sweet to the others. The one in lap playfully wiggles the food in their hand in front of the adults face and the man just plays along trying to catch it. The child quickly gives in as a woman approaches them and also gets offered something from the other child. Instead she takes the childs hand in her own and the man stands up, still holding the younger in his arms. They start to leave, talking between them.  
Johnny leaves half of the cup full of tea, taking just a little sip so it would be easier to swallow the painkiller and goes to sleep.

* * *

August starts in six days, but Johnny’s still stuck in this hell hole of a daily routine. Yuta’s really begging for an answer if he is going to join the other people going to Japan, but Johnny really can’t. He really wants to do something else besides work, but he can’t just leave everything, he can’t get himself fired. Maybe the flow of new papers will end tomorrow, maybe after another week, he really doesn’t know and can’t give an answer. Even his place has gotten messy, since he doesn’t have much time to properly clean it up. His meals also have dropped in health bar, Johnny still has proper lunch, but breakfast and dinner now contains take outs and fast food. He certainly isn’t happy by how his life is going right now, but it will end soon, it has to get better.

One evening Yuta just shows up at his door, knocking furiously and asking if Johnny is still alive. When Johnny opens the door, turns out he isn’t alone and has brought poor Sicheng with him, saying that he _didn’t want to go to war alone_ to what the taller man just sympathetically smiles.

Johnny, of course, lets them in excusing the mess and stating that he doesn’t really have any snacks to offer, but Yuta proudly answers that he already knew that he wouldn’t and proceeds to pull out food out of his backpack.

“You have a nice place.” Sicheng compliments, Johnny’s used to such things, so he gives the usual _thanks_ and a polite smile.

“You look like shit though.” Yuta scoffs, “I thought you were lying that you got so much work, but that,” he points to the work table, which is covered in sheets, folders and mugs, “looks like hell.”

Johnny punches his arm jokingly, “It feels like that too. Coffee, tea? Something stronger?”

Yuta’s the first one to answer, “Peppermint tea, you?” He looks at Sicheng questionably.

“Yeah, me too.”

“Three teas then, be right back.” Johnny moves towards the kitchen while Yuta shouts to bring some plates and bowls too.

Johnny doesn’t remember when such simple foods have tasted this good. He has to explain the whole work situation to Yuta again, but this time in real life and now he actually seems to believe and apologizes for being so annoying the past days. Then they talk about what has recently happened, Sicheng easily joining in in the conversations. At first Johnny constantly thinks back to the empty files behind him, but soon after forgets about them.

The elder suggests to put on a movie, but Yuta turns down his offer, “Nah, I’ll have another cup and we should leave. I need to get him home and I want to drop of some other stuff before it gets dark.”

Sicheng crosses his arms, “You think I can’t get home by myself?”

“Well, if you want to walk all that distance, you should head out now.” Yuta pretends to be serious, but Sicheng just laughs it off, “Who wants a refill?” Both Johnny and Sicheng shake their heads in denial and Yuta sighs getting up and disappears in the kitchen.

A few topics of what to talk about run through Johnnys mind, but Sicheng starts first. 

“Can I ask you something?”

Johnny takes a bite of the nicely sour lemon cake, “Yeah, sure.”

Sicheng hesitates for a moment, “Did something happen on that trip, the one you and, um, Ten go? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

The first thing that comes to his mind is that Ten possibly hasn’t told his friend how the trip went, Johnny finds it interesting. “First couple of days were cool, but then one night he started to act strange and the next morning said that he doesn’t like me.” He has nothing to hide, if there even is anything. “If that’s what you meant.”

Sicheng tenses for a second, but slumps back fast, “He just straight up said that?”

“No. I asked him.”

“Aha….” The guest takes a sip from his cup, something in the atmosphere changes and not in a good way. Before speaking again, Sicheng clears his throat, “I don’t want to apologize on his behalf, but Ten doesn’t mean bad.” Johnny isn’t sure what to answer, he just nods. That happened already weeks ago and even though he has told himself that it doesn’t matter anything, he still tries not to think about it. “He’s just, um… dumb.” The younger laughs and Johnny does so too, the mood eases a little bit. “He does stuff like that, even if he doesn’t mean it.”

Johnny acknowledges Sichengs _explanation_ with a hum. He’s not sure what kind of an answer to give, maybe Sicheng’s trying to tell that Ten really didn’t mean his words, but Johnny’s pretty sure by how easily Ten said it he didn’t think otherwise.

* * *

He _tries_ not to think about, but sometimes it still slips and, before going to sleep, he recalls some of his favourite moments from the dates they had or the messages that hold a small meaning to him. He thinks if Ten has deleted their pictures from his phone, he didn’t upload any from the trip on his social media. Maybe he has gotten rid of the gifts Johnny gave him, after all he never saw Ten wear the silver bracelet he gave him after one of the dinners.  
But everything seemed so genuine, he even asked himself to come over after a long day or to go out for iced coffee on hot Saturdays. In Johnnys eyes he reached out too – he thinks like that for a moment, but soon realises that mostly it was him and just sometimes Ten and then everything seems bad again.

When it starts to hurt just a little bit too much he goes to sleep.

* * *

The last month of summer seems promising as long as Johnny doesn’t focus on the remaining files waiting to be filled, but his boss had told that after all the work he had done in the past weeks, Johnny had earned himself some rest. Yuta has left his cat with him while he is away with others in Japan, so Johnnys apartment doesn’t feel _that_ empty for now and he can find other distraction except books or technologies.  
The first days didn’t come easy, the cat not used to the new living space and Johnny constantly lifting it off the new sleeping spots, so the fur wouldn’t cover every single piece of furniture in the house. And the meowing, oh god, if just once Johnny forgot to feed him at the right time, the cat would walk around him _screaming_ even after being fed, and at nights too, it would just sit on the windowsill and cry together with some stray cats from outside. That was until Johnny spared just a little more attention to the animal and everything went pretty much smoothly after that.

Johnny’s awoken by an incoming video call, which doesn’t end after a few rings of too much waiting. Lately Yuta has been constantly calling him to make sure Johnny hasn’t given up on basic human needs, to show some kind of place they’re sightseeing _and_ to check up on his cat. This call isn’t an exception. Johnny only recently realised how nice of a gesture is looking out for someone without even the person asking.

The view of the outside gives a solid idea of todays weather – the usual hot summer day with a few clouds sparing some rest for the people enjoying the time in the streets. Maybe there could be some light rain, maybe not.

The cat is still in his arms since the call, not wanting to put it down yet, because that would mean a breakfast and the Saturday cleaning up what Johnny has been trying to bring back. He also been putting work away during the weekends as much as he can allow it and now there’s actually so little left of it, it truly makes Johnny happy. Thinking about it makes him smile and swing the cat in his arms like a baby. There won’t be much to do tomorrow, since most of his closest friends are gone for now and Yuta even managed to drag Sicheng along.

“Lets go eat breakfast, yeah?” The cat obviously doesn’t answer the man, but Johnny takes the soft purring as a yes.

* * *

In his eyes, the house is quite clean-looking for now and he can manage to finish one or two more files today before thinking about dinner. As soon as Johnny comfortably takes a seat by his worktable, the cat jumps into his lap and the males hand automatically settles on the animals fur and strokes it slowly. The cat soon lays in Johnnys lap and decides to take a nap right there, Johnny takes that as a sign to get to work.

Everything goes surprisingly smoothly, because weeks back it was almost the same stuff, but it felt way more difficult and complicated. The peaceful music in the background gives his home a _vibe_ or at least that what he likes to think and maybe, just maybe Johnny listens to it because it relaxes him and puts him into a sweet state of slumber.

However, the soft sound of piano is interrupted by the ring of the doorbell, easily beating the quiet music. There is barely anyone who would visit Johnny randomly today, so he checks his phone for any messages, but there are no new notifications, just old ones. He looks down at the animal still sleeping, not bothered by the sound. Johnny carefully picks the cat in his arms and slowly stands up from his workplace, heading towards the entrance door and trying not to make any excess sounds. Even if he knows that he is safe in his home, the unsettling feeling doesn’t leave him.

“Who’s there?” Johnny leans closer to the door, the cat startles in his hands.

“It’s me,” The familiar voice makes the male regret putting his work aside, “Ten.”

Johnny isn’t sure what he is supposed to do, technically he should let the other in and then proceed to get around their intentions, but he doesn’t feel like doing it. Speaking through closed doors would be too impolite even now, plus the neighbours would hear everything, Johnny still values his privacy.  
He unlocks the door without a hurry, repositions the animal on his left hand. The handle is hard to press down and the door opens heavily even if the gap is narrow. Johnny pretends to jiggle around with keys, just to avoid being the first one to speak up.

“I just missed my bus and, um, I thought I could come here and maybe talk to you.”

 _Oh, now he wants to talk_. Sudden spark of fury runs through Johnnys body, he doesn’t want to talk, not to Ten. If he thinks that he can just show up when he misses a bus and act like they haven’t not spoken with each other for a month, then he’s wrong. Johnny thinks about telling him to wait a minute and bringing Tens stuff what has been left at the elders place after he has stayed over, then placing the bag right into his hands and slamming the door shut right in front of him.

Ten rummages through his black shoulder bag and takes out a box of chocolates which Johnny recognizes as his favourite. “I brought these,” His tone still cheerful, but you can pick up the desperation, “these are your favourites, right?” The way he looks up to Johnny smiling and extending his hand almost melts the elders stance, but the hurt is still there, reminding him to keep the act up.

“You can keep them.” Johnny feels safe, continuing to stand in a place very familiar to him, having no reaction to his answer, meanwhile the other visibly freezes before bringing his arm back to him with a quiet _okay_.

Both of them stay silent for a moment, Tens fingers picking on the plastic packaging around the box. “So you don’t want to talk?” He looks down guilty.

Johnny can’t tell if his heart is even beating, it feels heavy like a rock, he wonders is saying just _no_ is too harsh. “I don’t think there’s anything to talk about.”  
Ten nods without saying a word. Neither does Johnny, until Ten slips the box back in the bag and his body prepares for a turn in order to leave, “Wait.”

The hopeful look that Ten gives him is engraved in his memory quickly. When Johnny leaves the door he can feel Tens eyes following him for a second before he disappears form sight.  
Johnnys room is only halfway cleaned up, but he clearly knows where a certain bag has been laying for weeks now. He picks it up with ease and gives it one last look and with a deep sigh returns back to the hall where _he_ is waiting.  
Somehow the fact that Ten hasn’t ran away again and still stands in his place comes as a surprise. When Ten hears Johnnys footsteps in front of him, he stops playing with one of his bracelets, which still doesn’t seem like the one Johnny gifted to him. He looks up to him with round eyes and open mouth, awaiting for something special.

“Your stuff.” Johnny extends his own hand with the familiar fabric bag in it. The look on Tens face stays the same, but you can tell that his mood has suddenly changed, the way his eyes go from Johnnys face to the bag quickly leaves an imaginary line on the mans body.

He still smiles, as if he would be thankful by the fact that Johnny is turning him down, “Yeah, thanks.” The way Tens hand trembles when it reaches out for the bag is the first thing Johnny notices, the second being his weird voice tone and third the way his eyes go glassy. If not for the cat suddenly getting up from the sleeping position, Johnny would have probably given up and invited Ten to come in. But he doesn’t, as soon as his other hand is free, Johnny uses it to shift the cat around, so it would feel comfortable while sitting. What the elder can see from the side of his eyes is that Ten puts the second bag on the same shoulder over the other one and leaves towards the staircase without saying anything else.

The busses go the same route at least with an hour between. The bus that Ten missed left around 15 minutes ago, Johnny knows, Ten used to leave with that one if he couldn’t stay for the night and didn’t want Johnny to give him a ride. The next one goes after an hour and a half from now. Sicheng’s in Japan, maybe he was with Kun.

* * *

**Yuta**

_Sicheng told me not to tell you that Ten told  
him that you’ve made a fool out of him and  
now you’re a bitch _

_And I wouldn’t have cared, trust me, the  
last thing I give a fuck about is your fucked  
up relationships_

_But apparently if Ten’s sad = Sicheng’s sad_

_Trust me, Ten definitely didn’t seem to us  
like your just friend and I don’t know if you  
like him in some kind of a romantic way_

_Sicheng says that even if Ten hasn’t told  
him that he likes you, he has never seen  
Ten being so whipped for anyone_

_Do what you want with this information,  
but apparently Ten has been (and is), lets say,  
not really happy after your two oh so secret  
trip. Love, Yuta._

* * *

Johnny’s on his third round of knocks on the wooden door of Tens apartment and there’s still no answer. By the timetable that Sicheng verbally provided to him, Ten should be at home right now. Maybe he’s taking a shower or a nap, or just isn’t answering and Johnny could fully understand that, but how would he know that it is him knocking on the door?

Another three, now softer, knocks land on the brown surface, so the neighbours wouldn’t think that some kind of a stranger is trying to enter poor Tens home and do god knows what there. Still nothing. Some more seconds pass without an answer. Maybe he’s really sleeping and Johnny should try out his luck another day. He pulls out his phone from the back-pocket of his jeans, ready to text Sicheng that he’s backing away from the original plan.

“Would you please move?” The soft voice comes from Johnnys behind and it doesn’t take much to register who is it.

“Hey.” Johnny moves away from the door, standing on the side.

Ten doesn’t spare him a look. “Do you need anything?” The key from his hand smoothly slips into the keyhole, too easily for Johnnys liking. Ten’s used to the old doors stubbornness and soon his other hand is on the handle and presses it down. Johnny remembers the combination to open this door, but never has quite mastered it – it won’t unlock even if you miss just a second of pushing down the handle. With a click, they’re open. “I guess not.”

“Sicheng told me everything.” _That_ was supposed to be the sentence to save the situation if Ten really doesn’t want to talk to him, but now Johnny had wasted it at the start of everything and he can only pray that things go _somewhere_ after this.

The younger stops, the hold on the handle visibly tightens, but his face doesn’t shift even by little bit, “What do you mean by _everything_?” However, he still prefers to stare at the wooden pattern rather than Johnny.

“Things that you could’ve been open about and I would have understood you.” The answer is so bad and Johnny knows it, but he doesn’t want to get Sicheng too involved. The pure guy deserves to live.

Ten chuckles, “ _Understood me_.” His gaze finally turns to Johnny, “Do you even know what it means?”

No, he doesn’t. But for now he has to say _anything_ , just so Ten wouldn’t leave him hanging again. “Maybe. Maybe not. But we should’ve been more honest with each other, we should have just… talked—about things that concerns us.”

“Don’t you think it’s something too deep to discuss with a friend?” Tens eyes are waiting for a risky answer, Johnny would rather melt in a puddle right now, because what he is about to say - he really doesn’t understand.

“Sicheng told me how serious you are about not dating until you turn twenty-two,” And he hits a jackpot, because Tens hand falls from the handle and he turns to face Johnny. Now it’s Johnnys time to improvise, “And I respect that, I understand that. But even if we didn’t kick off good, I still enjoyed spending my time with you...” _Kick off, what a good word choice, man._ “And—And judging by the past and present, I still would like to spend my time with you even after you turn twenty-two.” That’s probably one of the worst ways to tell a person that you like them, but it seems to hold Tens attention, so it doesn’t matter even if he doesn’t get the intention. “I know that I probably should’ve came sooner, but truth to be told, I was bitter too, you know? I—I believe we’re both at fault here… and if everything I’ve assumed is wrong and you truly don’t like me, then it’s fine and… I don’t know. I—”

“It’s okay,” Ten reassures, the sound of the door next to them being unlocked can be heard in the background, “it’s late already, you should head back home and get some sleep. I’m tired too.” He turns away again, the lack of answer makes Johnny _want_ to leave. “I’ll text you tomorrow, okay?”

* * *

Johnny doesn’t want to wake up and face the reality. _He didn’t say no._

Waking up would mean checking what time it is and Johnny doesn’t have a clock in his room. He uses his phone for that, but does he want to use it right now? No, then he would have to answer something to either Sicheng or Yuta, or in the worst case to them both about how did things go yesterday. And did it go well? In Johnnys eyes, not really. If Ten couldn’t say anything positive face-to-face, then thinking that he won’t be rejected again, this time, through a text message would be a dream. That’s why he still hopes to fall asleep.

Maybe it would be better if the work would still keep him busy all day.

But it doesn’t, _wow_ , he really was looking forward to these days off.

The idea of preparing something delicious for breakfast is what gets Johnny out of the bed. Living alone doesn’t require some kind of rules or routines, so heading to the bathroom to wash up without any pyjamas on isn’t a problem. Maybe he should acquire a pet to keep it in some frames at least.

It’s only after getting back and picking up misplaced things that have somehow made it onto the floor, Johnny braces himself for checking what new has appeared on his phones notification bar.  
Apart from numerous other news, the only that matter are the messages two messages.

**Yuta**

_So, did you crash it completely that Ten doesn’t want to talk to you anymore and I can get my money from Sicheng?_

**Ten/Ten**

_Are you free today after 4pm? Could we meet somewhere?_

* * *

Ten doesn’t hate Johnny, Ten doesn’t dislike Johnny. Even if he didn’t say that he _likes_ Johnny, neither did he say that he doesn’t want to continue meeting him as often as they used to do when at the end Johnny had asked if Ten would be down for some movies at the cinema or at home.

Johnny hopes so badly that Ten didn’t do that just out of a pity, that he manages to forget about such a chance.

However, Johnny had picked up on some rules Ten kind of spoke about, even if he didn’t force them, they were briefly mentioned. It’s nothing much, what settles into Johnnys memory the best is that Ten doesn’t like others spending money on him and the way that he had tip-toed around them being _just friends_.

But it doesn’t matter, because the boost of happiness that keeps on filling Johnny each time he gets to be around Ten makes him forget about his worries and gets him through day after day. And even if there is some kind of barrier between, Johnny doesn’t feel it.

* * *

If the summer is mercilessly hot, then the winter is supposed to be just as cold, and this year doesn’t seem to be an exception. If September was still bearable with a thin sweater or a light jacket, then October has rolled around with strong winds and heavy downpours.

Johnny has been trying to pick Ten up after work as often as possible, so he shouldn’t have to walk his way home in the unpleasant weather. One evening not a single ray of sun can reach the earth, looking up nothing else can be seen rather than the huge mass of dark blue clouds that are covering up the whole sky. It’s so little time between another roar of a thunder and some lightning left and right, the storm going exactly over the city. Johnny has texted Ten twice to wait for him, that he’ll be little bit later than usual and yet again to not to dare going home by himself.

Usually he would have been here at least an half an hour earlier, but one of the interns managed not to notice a mistake in some important numbers and the files had to be re-written as soon as possible by one and only Johnny. When he reaches Tens workplace, the weather hasn’t gotten any better. There are no familiar figures standing outside, so Johnny hopes that the other had listened to him and stayed inside to wait for him.  
As soon as Johnny is out of his car, he doesn’t waste time locking it and rushes inside the building.  
It’s not his first time here, but the simple yet welcoming lobby always makes him want to stay here just a bit longer even if he doesn’t mean any business. He greets another new girl who works here as a greeter or something like that, Johnny isn’t sure why do they need such an employee, but Ten had explained that it just gives students an easy and quick way to earn some money, that also being the reason why they change those people so often.

The place where Ten, hopefully, is waiting for him is one of the employees rooms, in which Johnny _technically_ can’t go freely, so not to alarm the new worker, he chooses the polite way. “Is Ten still here?”

“Yeah, I think so. Should I call him?”

“That would be nice, tell him that his ride has arrived.”

The girl disappears with an _okay_ and Johnny keeps himself busy by looking at his car through the window covered in raindrops, just in a case somebody gets too close to it.  
It doesn’t take much time until a familiar squeeze, more like a pinch this time, lands on his ribs.

“Have you seen my chauffeur around?”

Johnny turns to face Ten and as soon as his gaze leaves window and lands on the others face a goofy grin sneaks on his face. “Not really, but there’s a suspicious car outside. Wanna go, check it out?” 

Ten pretends to think and puts his hand under his chin, “Hm, I think we should. Lets go.”

Driving around with Ten is always entertaining, because it feels like the options of topics they could talk about are infinite. The ride always feels too short, but it gives a chance for them to meet up most of the working days when they’re both too tired to go anything, like today. But today Johnny considers himself lucky as the parking space is relatively far from Tens houses entrance door and they can barely see through the curtain of raindrops while sitting in the car. They decide to wait here until it calms down outside, so Ten wouldn’t get soaking wet from the short walk.

They sit in comfortably, not worrying about talking about something nonstop, the quiet music and the rain hitting the car makes up for it. Also the snacks that Johnny has saved up in the car keeps their mouths busy. Johnny feels a little tired, but in a nice way, like he could just push down his seat and take a nap right now and here, Ten also looks in a similar state, the soothing sound not helping. Johnny lets out a deep breath and crosses his arms in order to try freshen his mind up.

“What do you think about making a party or something for Sichengs and Yutas birthday?” Tens voice sounds so calm, Johnny would rather be in a bed right now.

“Yuta doesn’t deserve it.”

Ten playfully punches the elders arm, “No, I’m serious.” He reaches to take a chocolate candy from the packaging placed between them. “I just thought that it would be a fun idea, you know, since they both have been hiding around. Imagine them coming back from a date or something, hand in hand, probably with a plan of making out in the bedroom, but, boom, we’re there! And they have to explain why they’re all over each other, when apparently there’s nothing much between them.” Tens fingers quickly take of the plastic wrapping, putting it away in his pocket. His hand is nearing Johnnys face until the sweet is in front of the others lips, Johnny bites into it without hesitation. “Like, a surprise birthday party, but lowkey also a revenge.” Ten puts the other half in his own mouth before Johnny can lean in and take the second bite.

“ _That_ sounds better.”

* * *

Less than two weeks are left until the surprise, it takes every single nerve for Johnny not to make any suspicious remarks when Yuta is teasing him, Ten says that he’s having a similar situation with Sicheng. Since they don’t have any spare time except late evenings and a few lazy weekends, they are back to sleeping over at ones or others places. It’s mostly at Johnnys though, the amount of work has increased yet again and he finds it easier to deal with it at his own home, Ten assures that that’s okay even though he likes sleeping in his bed more, he understands.

Johnny was expecting a lot of dumb ideas that they couldn’t pull off coming up and he wasn’t wrong, Tens creative mind and his own wish to get Yuta back for all the teasing lets them spend hours having genuine fun together. Ten might be a huge distraction from work, but Johnny doesn’t mind his presence _and_ he gets home cooked dinner almost every day. He’s also getting used to waking up earlier, so he can managed to drop Ten off, although the other had stated many times that he can take the bus as well, Johnny still prefers the his option.

What Johnny had managed to forget about was the lack of privacy when there are people around you all day. During the past few years, he got used to going home and having all time for himself, now that Ten tends to be around, Johnny feels different at home, not in a bad way, but changes tend not to come easily. The job still gets him worked up, but now he can’t stay mad and put out his anger on somebody, on Ten, because it isn’t their fault. He can’t get home and go straight to sleep just to wake up in the middle of the night and then stay up for hours before going back to sleep for a few more. Sometimes Johnny doesn’t even feel like taking a rest and just lays on the couch, thinking about random stuff and not moving at all, familiar movies playing on TV, the voices of actors making him feel less lonely.

Past few days haven’t been exactly paradise at work, the new intern keeps on messing everything up and it takes a tool on Johnnys patience, he would’ve complained about it to his boss and get the boy transferred to a different department in the best case, but… the boy turns out to be Johnnys bosses nephew, so there’s not even a point of trying, only if Johnny wants a lecture about how somewhat experienced worker can’t deal with a newbie.  
Meanwhile _he_ doesn’t even have to work a full 8 hour shift, _Johnny_ has to finish all the works before their deadlines and when you have thought that you will be able to share a part of the assigned work with somebody else and loosen up, but it turns out to be exact opposite, let’s say, it isn’t fun.

Johnny would have lied about not feeling well or having to go somewhere in order to have the house fully to himself and find somebody who would be down for an one night stand with him, but there’s a movie on TV that Ten has been beaming about tonight and since Johnny has not seen, to Tens surprise, he indirectly promised to watch it with him. This would be probably one of the worst days to let Ten down even if it’s only a movie, Johnny doesn’t want to make him sad at all.

So he does what he would do in any usual day – gets off the work late, throws the folder with unfinished works on the backseat of his car and drives off to pick up Ten. They stop at a grocery shop to buy something to eat and a few bottles of wine by Johnny choice.

The elder mentions that he’s too tired to focus on planning the birthday party today and Ten says that it’s okay, they have most of it done anyway. There are a few free hours between them arriving at Johnnys home and the start of the movie, Ten automatically gets himself busy with preparing a meal while Johnny continues working on empty files.

If you can call it working. It’s mostly him reading the same paragraph over and over, trying to make his brain register what kind of information is missing, but his head doesn’t want to corporate. He has been looking at the same words for minutes, zoning out for seconds constantly, he’s wasting a lot of time and he understands that. Johnny won’t get anything done this evening, but at the moment he doesn’t want to leave his room and be Tens company.

He sinks down in the leather office chair, the window next on his left is closed, even though the temperature in the room feels higher than usually and some fresh air wouldn’t be a bad idea too. Johnny drops the pen on the table and relaxes his limbs on the armrests. It gets dark way sooner now, when Johnny started on the papers he only needed the desk lamp to provide enough light, but now he would have turned on the proper ones in the ceiling if he wasn’t too lazy to get up. The poorly lit room and the view of almost empty, calm city erases any kind of leftover thoughts about work.

The sound of dishes and pans hitting against each other while being moved constantly reminds Johnny that Ten is just some metres away from him and could come into his room at any given moment. But that doesn’t stop Johnnys left hand from moving to his thigh, mindlessly stroking it up and down, giving some squeezes here and there.   
Usually, he wouldn’t mind taking the time to work himself up, he might even enjoy it too much sometimes. But this time, sadly, Johnny has a limited amount of time and not much of it, judging by the amount of time he has spent _not_ doing his work. Until Ten, none of Johnnys friends haven’t stayed over as long as he has. Sure, others have spent here a few days, because one or other reason, but that hasn’t really been a burden. Ten isn’t a burden either, but over the past years Johnny has gotten used to having the place all to himself, meaning that he could do whatever he wants, whenever he wants.  
Giving more thought to it, maybe the idea of pleasuring yourself while people around you stay clueless, is pretty turning on. At least to Johnny.  
The right hand moves away from his leg, now resting on the lower abdomen. The thoughts, however, keep on lingering around the other person inside the house.

What would he do if Ten walked in on him? Or what would _Ten_ do? _Maybe it would be fun to find out._ Would he pretend not to have noticed that something is off and quickly walk out excusing himself? What if Ten is into those strange things that they usually portray in adult movies and instead of the chance of everything becoming awkward, it gets heated up rapidly? But most definitely it’s odd to touch yourself to dreams about one of your friends, but Johnny can’t help it.

But others thing can. An unexpectedly powerful, sharp yelp echoes in the apartment, coming somewhere from behind Johnnys bedroom door. He’s quickly put back onto his senses by being startled awake from his thoughts.

Johnnys legs speed on their own to reach the door as fast as possible. The idea of someone breaking in the apartment and scaring Ten is the first conclusion he comes to. The door has barely been moved when Johnnys calls for Ten loudly, guessing that the neighbours have heard it too. Mere seconds of looking around the rooms for any threats pass for Johnny to reach his kitchen and find the other at the same place he last saw him.  
The troubled feeling lessens, when Johnny notices that one of Tens hands is under a stream of water, a mix of red and slight blue colour flowing off of it, blood.

Ten beats him to asking about what happened, looking way calmer than Johnny feels, “I accidently cut my finger,” he lifts the hand up, leaving the water, a line of red substance immediately appears on his skin, “sorry.” The foolish smile on Tens lips is the opposite of the frozen expression on the elders face, who’s only coming around the fact that almost everything is okay. “Do you have any band aids?”

Johnnys hands are shaking slightly bit while rummaging through a drawer, where supposedly some patches should have been, it’s good that Ten stayed by the kitchen sink, not coming with him to the bathroom one. He understands that being as worried as he is now isn’t right.  
  


Luck isn’t on Johnnys side and he returns to Ten with a pack of cotton wool and gauze. Ten is sitting by the table, dabbing his finger dry with a sheet of paper. Johnny places the things on the table before taking the place opposite the other.

“I didn’t find any band aids, but this will do too.”

Ten hums approvingly instead of answering, he takes his time cleaning the finger off, not sparing any other attention to Johnny for a second.  
The cut is pretty deep, the finger is still cold in Johnnys hand as he wraps the soft cotton around it. Ten winces each time the elders own hands brush against the bruise, with each time Johnny tries to be more careful. Making a knot with the gauze is the hardest part, Ten tries to help him with his left hand, Johnny appreciates the gesture, asks him to press down on the first knot as he ties another one.

“Sorry for bothering you while you work.”

Johnny finds it strange that he’s saying it now, Ten could’ve easily refused the help at the start, “Don’t worry, you aren’t a bother.”

“You just seem very… nervous. On the edge.” Johnny’s done with the finger and Ten draws it back, inspecting at the work.

 _On the edge_ would be one way to put it, “I’m just tired, work and all. Zero worries, it’s not you.” The elder gets up in order to put the things somewhere else rather than dinner table.  
“What are you cooking?”

“I already finished, there’s noodles with meat and some vegetables on the pan.” Ten turns towards Johnny, who is facing him with his back, “Are you going to work?”

“Mmm… I don’t think so. Work isn’t on my mind today.”

“Do you mind serving the food?”

* * *

Ten struggles with the chopsticks a lot, switching them to a fork doesn’t really change anything. Judging by the laughs, the poor attempts of Ten picking up the food, is one of the funniest things in the world. In the middle Johnny jokes about feeding the other and he doesn’t know if Ten’s also joking or taking it seriously, but certainly his mouth falls open and first instinct for Johnny is to give the portion in his utensils to the other. He ends up feeding them both, then ends up falling asleep on the sofa, in the middle of the show they’re watching.

* * *

28th of October, 7 pm, there are people Johnny’s close to and some faces Johnny hasn’t seen in his life that have gathered in Sichengs apartment. For a second they all had been taken aback, when Yuta had came all alone, excusing himself that he wanted to come earlier and surprise Sicheng too, ruining Tens plan in a way.  
However, that doesn’t change the fact that Sicheng arrives at time, ready to spend his birthday silently in duo, clearly being surprised that Yuta has joined the crowd.

A few ovations happen here and there, Johnny also greets both birthday boys, quickly stuffs his plate with various snacks after, in order to sit down somewhere until the first wave of peoples energy dies down and he can settle somewhere with one of his friends.  
And it does happen, only the person isn’t really his friend, it’s Kun.  
Not that he doesn’t like the guy, they just kind of know each other and don’t know as much at the same time. Johnny’s decides to be cool about the other sitting down next to his own stool and try to be as nice as possible.

“So… do you call this _party_ a success?” Kun opens a can of beer and Johnny wishes he would’ve brought some with him earlier.

“I mean, at least we got a reaction out of Sicheng.” The response is too dry, “When’s your birthday?”

“On the first of January.”

Johnny has to admit to himself that it’s a pretty interesting date, “And how do you know you weren’t born on 31st of December?”

Kun shrugs his shoulders, “It doesn’t make a big difference, does it? Plus, makes me appear younger.”

“How old are you?”

“Same as Ten.”

Johnny quickly puts pieces together, realising that Kuns age doesn’t flatter his profession, “And you work in a club?”

“I’m just earning some extra money. The club owner and my parents are friends or something. After a few mixing lessons I was in soon after my birthday. People there don’t order anything really bizarre anyway.” Kun plays with the fabric of his jeans, “I’m still learning.”

The elder slowly nods his head in acknowledgement, “What are your future plans?”

The other sighs and slides down in his seat, “A teacher, I guess. Thought working with children could be fun, but, _fuck_ , I don’t know if it’s worth it anymore. And you?”

“I’m in a stable work, was taught something before and then, _woosh_ , adult life. Also got in through connections.”

The small talk dies down after that, it’s still somewhat comfortable, although other people chat more. Johnny soon finds a distraction: Yuta who is dragged to the side of the living room by Sicheng. The boy is too obvious with looking around, in case somebody would notice them disappearing, easily missing Johnnys prying eyes. Seems like Kun had taken a notice of them too, guessing by what Johnny sees from the corner of his eyes. They both silently watch as the other two slowly enter a different room, leaving all the guests by themselves.  
Something makes Johnny turn his head towards Kun and apparently the other has had the same idea. They both share understanding looks, a small grin manages to sneak in.

Johnny’s ready to continue sitting without saying a word, but Kun has different plans,  
“You know, it’s actually funny, the more _you_ and _your_ friends I get to know, the more _my_ friends find other people to spend time with. Is that the plan? Steal all of them?”

Kun smiles, even if it looks suspicious, Johnny understands that it should be taken it as a joke, “Maybe it’s you yourself next,” Kun politely chuckles, turning his head back away, “Who knows?”

The younger shakes his head disapprovingly, “I can’t believe you let such a messy person as Yuta get our sweet, pure Sicheng.” The sulky tone reminds Johnny of a whiny teenager, it isn’t as annoying, but it’s almost the same as one of his friends. Johnny takes a note of that. “And you too! The kind boy, completely fresh to start a life on his own _finally_ and _boom!_ You sweep Ten off his feet! How are you going to pay me back for a loss of two?”

Johnny pretends to take it seriously and acts as if he would have a genuine offer to the other, “Well, I can offer you some friends to choose from.” Kun chuckles under his breath. “Others didn’t have the benefit of choice! Be grateful!”

“Yeah, yeah… I’m good.”

A question he’s been wanting to be answered for a long time comes in Johnnys memory. He’s not sure how he hasn’t found out such a simple thing, but that doesn’t matter as he has a chance now, “By the way, how did you and Ten meet?”

“Oh,” Kuns face lights up at the mention of their friend, “I’ve known him for a long time, we met… at the start of high school. We both were new to the school and had a lot in common, I guess. I don’t even remember it clearly… getting old.” The look of happiness mixes with something nostalgic, even if Johnny doesn’t know what the other is thinking about, it is not hard to tell that there’s something more. “And then we _magically_ didn’t lose contact after, fast forward to Ten looking for a place to hide from his parents and me having an empty apartment next to mine,”

“Wait, you’re neighbours?”

“Yeah… now for, like, 2 years, I think.” Johnny makes sure to remember the new information. “…And now we’re still friends… something like that.”

Johnny nods as a sign of him listening to Kun. He has been completely wrong at first, thinking that Kun is just a poor bartender that Ten flirted with in order to get some drinks, but they are more, way more. Kun has been with Ten for a long time, probably knows things that Ten won’t tell Johnny.

“And how are things between you and Ten?”

Johnny laughs out of nowhere, surprising himself, and stretches in his seat, taking his time to think of a good answer. “To sum it up, I’d say… interesting.” Kun definitely knows about Ten not dating anyone, should know how often they meet too, the knowing smile on his face only reassures Johnnys suspicions.

Johnny wants to explain more, but he can’t come up with words to explain what’s happening between them. “Four more months.” Kun is quicker to speak. However, Johnny doesn’t understand about _what_ , his face stiffens in a questioning look. “Tens birthday. It’s in four months. 27th of February, rings any bells?”

* * *

Sometimes Johnny thinks if he has achieved enough at this point in life. He knows that some of his old classmates are married, some even have children and are moving out of small apartments into houses with two floors and a backyard. Others are only on their way of accomplishing something big. Still in universities or trying to work their way up without any higher education. A part of them worries too much about having someone to love, about having too little time, the other part doesn’t care at all.

And what does Johnny have? His job pays well, well enough that with some time of saving money he could buy a proper house. He doesn’t have the best education, but it is enough for his job. And his job is good, others would be happy with the place he has. Even if it’s boring and takes up most of his time, he should consider himself lucky, changing it would have some consequences. He doesn’t have anyone to call his _sweetheart_ , yet, but there’s still time.

* * *

_You should watch out for him and I mean it. Be the bigger person. Check up on him twice._

* * *

No matter how carefully Johnny tries to lead them to a specific topic, Ten’s too good with avoiding it, almost skilled. It’s Thursday, the fourth evening in the week they spend together. Everything is almost the same – Johnny picks him up after work, takes them back to his place, they eat something and call it a dinner, sometimes Johnny does some more work, sometimes not, then they do something fun like playing board games or video games, maybe watching a movie, then either Ten gets home by himself or Johnny drops him off.  
That would usually be it, but this week the problem is wine, too much wine. Each day Ten would ask to stop by a store and while Johnny spends a few minutes on his phone, Ten picks out a bottle of wine. Or two, jokingly saying that _how can you get ONE bottle on the SECOND day of the week!_

Not that it is _that_ bad, but neither it is a typical Ten thing to do. And waking up with dry mouth combined with slight nauseous feeling deep down Johnnys stomach for the fourth morning in a row is not anything enjoyable. Johnny tried to point out the suspicious amount yesterday, but it came out more like joke, sadly. 

Today, they are already spread around the sofa with a half-empty bottle on the floor, while a TV show they’ve started watching together plays in front of them and Johnny is _oh so_ ready to get out the truth from Ten. To his luck, Ten, unlike Johnny who is sitting, is laying down in the small space, curled up so his legs wouldn’t hang over the edge.  
Johnnys hand has slowly neared Tens nape, not touching it yet, but close enough so the other could probably sense its presence. Even after all the time spent together, physical contact between the two was something that Johnny refrained himself from, for Tens sake. Johnny hears Ten sigh again or maybe it’s just a deep exhale, doesn’t matter now, he’s determined.

He hasn’t said a word since they started watching the show, Johnny knows his voice would sound too rough if he doesn’t put any effort in, so he tries his best to question Ten as softly, carefully as he can, “What’s wrong?”  
It comes out okay, or so he believes. However, his finger next to Ten twitch.

Johnny’s not looking at him and so he intended to stay, but then Ten turned his head and he looked down instinctively. Ten’s looking back at him with fake confusion written all over his face, his head now is resting on top of elders fingers. “Everything is okay?”

“You know you can talk to me.”

Ten turns back with another sigh, “Yeah, I know.” He moves around slightly, trying to stretch the stiff muscles without much moving, “Things are okay though.”

It falls silent for a minute, Ten doesn’t want to talk about it, but Johnny does. “I don’t want to be _that_ person, but, like… I can tell that you are—you’re not feeling… like usual.”  
That was a pretty bad argument, Johnny has to admit to himself, but that’s still better than nothing. He gives himself a second to choose between letting his hand rest where it is or giving up in the temptation and moving it over Tens back of the head. It’s almost nerve-wrecking, he’s lucky that Tens hair won’t let him feel the sweat that has suddenly formed on Johnnys palm.  
It takes a few movements to dig his fingers through the mass of hair, until the rhythm of the gesture feels normal, natural. At least for Johnny, because Ten hasn’t done _anything_ yet, not that he has to, but the absence of any reaction is sending red signals to Johnny. He couldn’t have known that such a small thing would be the step that is taken too far.  
_Three times._ Three more times and if nothing happens, then he’ll stop and pretend that what just happened – didn’t happen at all.

 _One._ _  
Two._

But, _goddamn it_ , it’s such a simple gesture. He shouldn’t feel ashamed by it.

_Three.  
Okay._

The hand feels heavy as it leaves Tens scalp, Ten doesn’t seem bothered by it, just continues to watch the TV silently as he did before. Johnny can’t tell if the awkwardness is both-sided, but it sure doesn’t feel right with him. His legs are starting to go numb from being in the same position for too long, so he shifts in his spot, “accidently” moving slightly farther away from Ten.

Ten must have felt the new free space by his head, because as soon as Johnny has stopped moving, he rolls on his back, legs still bent. Ten throws one of his arms over his stomach, other one reaching behind his top of the head, blindly searching for something, until he finds Johnnys hand, takes a hold of its wrist and drags it back to his head, placing it down softly and letting it go. He exhales and closes his eyes when Johnny starts to move his hand again.  
“Some days are better, some are worse. This week is the second one.”

* * *

At this point, Johnny doesn’t remember how it was to wake up in the middle of night or the next morning and have somebody lay next to him in his bed. From a sweet high school relationship to a one night stand, _anyone_. He knows that the feeling is good, even if it means nothing in the long run.

On weekend mornings, when his job doesn’t require him to be ready in an hour, he likes to stay in bed, wrapped in warm covers and think about it.

Just stretching his hand, with eyes still closed, and bumping it against another body. Would that person grunt? From being disturbed in their sleep or approvingly, that _yes, I am still here_? Maybe they would already be awake, waiting for Johnny to get up. Nevertheless, he would roll over to them and sneak his arms and legs around the other until it feels _right_. Kiss their hot skin? Depends. Fall asleep again? Probably. Waking up with somebody pressed against you is just as physically hot as it is emotionally sweet, knowing that someone trusts you that much. Who would wake up first after? What would they do when fully awake?

Just out of something nagging Johnny from the inside, he extends his arm out of the covers as far as he can. Obviously, the bed’s still empty.

* * *

“Do you _really_ find worth it? Like, knowing you, you could’ve had, I don’t know, minimum of 3 different partners by now!” November, it’s dark outside by the time Johnny gets off the work. A cold Thursday and Yuta isn’t making it better. “I mean, I _kind of_ get it, but I’m just saying that there wasn’t a point where it said that you can’t sleep with other people.” _Come over, I cooked dinner, but Sicheng apparently has something better than me to do._ “I don’t know… I don’t know. It starts to look strange from my perspective.”

“Wow, this meat is really good! When did you learn how to cook?”

Yutas stare crashes Johnnys sarcastic attempt of changing the theme.  
“Oh, shut up!”

“I already told you, I don’t know either!” Even if the dramatic cry of Johnnys answer makes both friends crack a smile, the arguments still cling somewhere in his mind.

“It has been… February, March, April… Eight? Eight months!” Yuta puts down his utensils and gives his friend a round of applause. “A new record! Eight months and you’re at the stage one!” Johnny gives him a fake smile and that’s all it takes to stop Yuta from talking.

“Any plans for Christmas?” The game is boring and Johnny can’t believe how bad of a player Yuta is.

He hasn’t really though anything about Christmas yet, Johnny has been more focusing on the work he should finish before Christmas, and then, maybe, think about it. “Haven’t really thought about it. Any offers?”

“There’s a party Sicheng wants to go to, can’t say I want it as much as he does, but you have to sacrifice yourself sometimes. So my offer is, you sacrifice yourself for me and come too.” There is still plenty of time to decide whether or not Johnny would like to go outside his house during December holidays, but takes a note not to forget the chance. “And, like, you could come…” _Cough,_ “alone” _cough,_ “and maybe hook up with somebody.” Johnny keeps himself focused on the game, but still hears Yuta clearly and the other _knows_ he’s listening. “December… it’s… three more months, you know?”

* * *

Does Ten deserve a dumb gift like the most of Johnnys friends are getting or should he give it a more serious approach?

Johnny doesn’t get it how other people can go looking for gifts together with friends. What if you suddenly get struck with such a great, sweet and meaningful gift for someone and you just can’t buy it, because your best friend just saw you buy dumb car stickers for one friend and socks with childish prints for other. It kind of isn’t fair, but thinking of any Christmas gift is hard, so random _good_ ideas should be kept.

And the one in his mind right now especially.

* * *

**_Ten/Ten_**   
_Sisters coming over during christmas, see u on  
27dec :p_

* * *

Tens gift is the only one left with Johnny, with other friends they exchanged gifts before Christmas and the family ones have been shipped around a week ago.

Johnny is almost ready to leave for tonight. The black coats pockets are quickly filled with everything he believes he’ll need in order to survive till tomorrow morning. Phone, wallet, car keys – _just in a case_ , gloves, _check!_ Another quick glance in the mirror – _check._  
Before turning off the last lights in the apartment, Johnny puts the tiny bag from the shelf in the coats inside-pocket, making sure it’s in nice and deep, so there’s no risk of it falling out.

The skies are pitch black at this hour, even if pearl white snow is falling down from up there. The streetlamps are doing a decent job at making people feel safer while walking to their destination on this Christmas Day. Johnny wonders if he looks too intimidating in his long, dark coat or if he is one with the others, who doesn’t want any unexpected interactions with foreign people. 

Deep inside he feels slightly anxious, but for a good reason – the address he’s heading to was texted to him a few weeks ago _and_ by Yuta, maybe the party has changed it’s location and he’s walking this distance for nothing. Sure, he could send his friend a text and confirm if he’s going to the right place or not, but that would ruin his planned mysterious arrival.  
Johnny isn’t the one for parties on such a day, usually he would have gone back to his family house and spent time with the relatives that have come over for the holiday. Neither does his friends have a gathering or something, they mostly have plans on their own, not having a thought of coming together like they do weekly. Maybe spending every Christmas together with them would really be too much, being separate probably is the right choice.

To Johnnys luck, the music from the building can be heard even not standing in front of it. Somebody, who he thankfully doesn’t know, has taken all the responsibility and rented a meeting room for a party full of young adults, brave of them.   
Nobody’s standing by the only entrance Johnnys can see, so he welcomes himself in, hoping to see some familiar faces soon.

A hall, poorly lit by some wall lamps, is right behind the door. The first wave of heat and the lack fresh air in the room feels almost unbearable, not mentioning the change of volume of sounds. Johnny listens to people chatting and laughing on the other side of the wall as he takes off his outwear and looks for a moderately free space where to hang it.  
When a sound of something fragile falling on the floor, he realises that it should have been polite to bring a bottle or two of alcoholic beverages. He never goes to Christmas parties, yes, that will work as an excuse.

The doors to the main room are open, but surprisingly nobody has left the room, so nobody has heard a new person to arrive. Well, if Johnny thinks about it, he _is_ late to the official start _and_ nobody really knew if he was coming or not. Maybe he should have sent a quick message to Yuta and ask him to wait for him outside, what if the only two people he was relying on knowing had changed their plans? Maybe it’s good to spend another night surrounded by people Johnny completely doesn’t know…

What Johnny wasn’t expecting by entering the dark space full of neon lights was the small amount of people in there. If he was expecting people crashing together with each other as they dance, this is rather a bigger gathering of friends and some less known people. From one side – it is nice to spend Christmas relatively calmly, from the other – the chance of not knowing anyone is really bothering him this time. It’s strange; Johnny takes only three steps in and bumps into somebody, because of trying to fix his hair and looking down in order to.

The person obviously turns to look at the obstacle and squints their eyes in order to see better in the dark,  
“Johnny?!”

Johnny answer with a laugh at first, Sicheng seems pretty surprised to have him met here. “Yeah, um, Yuta told me he would be here, at the party. Some time ago though, but I believed that the invite still is open!” Sichengs face eases at the explanation. Johnny hopes he might have thought about showing him where Yuta is, but it doesn’t look like it. As quick as that Johnny’s out of things to say. “Merry Christmas?”

“Ah, yes! Were here because of that!” The younger clearly had some drinks before, changing his mood quickly from confused to cheerful, “Merry Christmas to you too! Come sit down and get something to drink!” The way he swings his own arm through Johnnys smoothly takes the elder aback, but before he can react, Johnny’s getting dragged towards what he guesses is a bar of some sort. “How was your day so far? I haven’t done ANYTHING today! Ah! We, Yuta and I, not us, we had a very nice lunch… at a restaurant.” It’s funny to see Sicheng really drunk for the first time he has ever seen him _any_ drunk. “Yuta has been cooking, but, shh, don’t tell him, his meals – average. But I have to give it to him for trying.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell him!” Johnnys neither hasn’t done anything important today. He called parents to wish a good day again, cleaned up the apartment a bit, added a few ornaments he found to the Christmas tree Ten gladly helped to set up. Oh right, Johnny also went out to buy Tens gift a packaging and something to eat. However, the question about his day is long forgotten as Sicheng is already pointing to all the choices of what to drink.

“Wait… aren’t you with a car?”

“No,” Johnny shakes his head, “it’s not a long walk from my house to here.” Sicheng lets go off his arm and starts to pour a mix of drinks in one of the plastic cups. “And it’s not safe to drink and drive, you know?”

“Mhm…” The mix looks dangerously dark, but wasn’t getting drunk the reason why Johnny left the house today? “It’s just unusual of you to… use legs.” Sicheng takes a test sip, wiggling the cup around to mix the drinks better, his face expression immediately changes to a strong frown, for a second the boy stays like that, just shrugging his whole body afterwards and being back as new. “Yeah… not my best one.” Johnny takes the cup from Sichengs hand without any hesitation and gives it a taste himself, “Lets go see Yuta.” There are too much flavours together and the aftertaste isn’t good, but the drink feels really strong, so it’ll do.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Sicheng again links their arms and leads Johnny to some pretty lonely chairs in the corner, only one figure can be seen sitting on one of them, which Johnny believes is his friend. Yuta’s passing time being on his phone, the light from screen giving away his identity. Sicheng stops right in front of him and waits until his boyfriend turns his attention to them. There’s an emotion on Yutas face and it’s mixed with surprise, Johnny can’t tell apart the other one.

“Oh my god! You came to save me!” Sicheng sighs at Yutas greeting, still not letting go of Johnnys arm.

Johnny smiles at the enthusiast welcome, “Merry Christmas to you too!”

Sicheng sneakily takes the spot next to Yuta, making himself in the middle of the two friends. He also lets go of Johnnys arm, about which Yuta strangely didn’t give any comments.  
Johnny takes another sip of the cocktail, giving the other two a second of privacy, before turning around to take a seat next to Sicheng.

He scans the crowd, still standing, and notices a way too familiar figure in the middle of it. All the people are on the sides as if they have been moved, making a straight, clear line for a second or two for Johnny to understand who it is, but he doesn’t even need that much. It’s clearly _him_. It’s clearly Ten. For a moment it feels okay, almost good to see him here, after some days of not meeting each other. But then it comes crashing down and Johnny freezes in his spot.  
Ten _apparently_ is with his sister at his house tonight, _having family dinner_. The person who has their hands all over Ten definitely isn’t his sister, it’s not even a female Ten is suggestively dancing with. Ten doesn’t notice Johnny, so Johnny’s only left watching as he allows some, hopefully, stranger too much. Ten doesn’t even allow Johnny _that_ much.  
A different pair moves to dance in front of them blocking Johnnys view, he takes it as a sign to look away and sit down.

He shuts out whatever the pair next to him is whispering about, rather looking down on the floor and process what he just saw. Strangely enough, the lack of air in his lungs, in the room, the pain in the chest that wasn’t there seconds ago and the loud heartbeat in his ears make him feel almost guilty. As if he just saw something he shouldn’t have looked at. The image slowly repeats in his mind, dragging each movement of the dancers, making it look all in sync, like it’s flowing naturally, like it should be the way it is now.  
His eyes hurt from not blinking for too long, but it doesn’t matter to the tears that are threating to spill over his cheeks and drop on the floor. _Why would Ten do that?_

“I’ll mix you something.” Sichengs voice is louder this time, he’s making sure that Johnny hears about his leave. Sicheng walks away with Yutas empty cup hurriedly and then it occurs Johnny that he probably knew about their friends whereabouts, unlike Johnny himself.

Johnny tries to erase the video from his head, but even when he looks up to Yuta, he knows that Ten is still over there, doing god knows what now.

He tries to look like nothing just happened and puts up the best expression he can right now, but either his eyes were screaming too much to get him out of here or Sicheng had informed Yuta about the situation. “Man, I’ll pay you good money if you come with me to get a burger not far away, I’m starving.”

Yuta is a good friend overall. They don’t talk at all during the walk to the fast-food restaurant and doesn’t push Johnnys button, asking about his strange behaviour.  
He asks Johnny what he would like to order, as he’s paying him back for the company by buying some food. _Anything to drink and… um… chocolate donut._

They find a free table by the window and don’t exchange a word until Yuta’s not done with half of his burger and Johnny hasn’t played with the straw for 3 minutes.

“You should go back.”

Yuta doesn’t give an answer, just looks into Johnnys eyes as to make sure if he really means is or is just putting their friendship on a test. Johnny means it, Yuta deserves to spend the first Christmas with his new boyfriend together. Plus, Johnny really needs some alone time right now.

Johnny has only started picking on the donut when Yuta’s already done. “Text me when you feel like it.” The elder nods slightly, pretending to be more invested in the food. “If not, that’s okay too. But expect me to come around then.” Yuta gets quickly gathers all the trash from their small table and before leaving, places a hand on Johnnys shoulder and gives it a squeeze.

* * *

You know what’s the worst thing about this? Johnny can’t get mad at Ten. Ten made sure that Johnny knows so many nuances about his life decisions and Johnny even agreed that, yes, he fully understands it, the reasoning behind it. Johnny lied then, Ten lied now, doesn’t that make them even?

You know what else is stupid? Johnny not taking his car. He won’t sob at a _fucking_ fast-food place, he won’t cry outside while walking all the way home by himself in this _stupid_ snow on this _dumb_ night, he has to hold it in while he gets home, where it is safe to be.

But the walk feels so long even if he tries to move his long legs as fast as possible. The walk gives him all the time to think he doesn’t want to think through whatever is going on between him and Ten.

Was he really stupid enough to let the thoughts of them having a relationship get to his head? Did Yuta talk to him back then because he already knew about the other guy? Or is Johnny _the other guy_ for Ten? Why didn’t he want to see Johnny all Christmas holidays? He probably had different plans with his boyfriend, huh, so Johnny really is the other guy.

But Ten spent so much time together with Johnny… maybe he got tired. Maybe Johnny should have done something more. Maybe they should just have fucked that one night at the club and that would have been the end for them. And now? There’s almost nothing. They have gone as _far_ as Ten sometimes asking for a back massage after a long day. Ten months, ironically enough, it has been ten months and they haven’t done anything that Johnny used to do with others in a day.

 _Fuck!_ That even was the plan for tonight, to get a random person fall for his charms and spend one night together, just something fresh.  
He should have gone home for Christmas like he usually would have done. Then he wouldn’t have seen what he saw, instead he could have met his mom and dad, had delicious meals with other relatives, met his younger cousins and given them lovey gifts. _Would it be too dumb to call mom now?_  
_Yes_ , just because his day isn’t going good doesn’t mean he can ruin it for others.

But, hey, maybe, just maybe, that wasn’t Ten. Perhaps it was just a different person crazily looking like Ten. Maybe they weren’t kissing when Johnny took a last glance around the room before leaving.

It makes himself laugh. Johnny is by the last bus stop, he can already see his apartments windows from here. This would be a nice place to sit down, but the bench is prettily covered with a soft looking layer of snow.

* * *

In his head, Johnny’s already laying on his bed in complete darkness and re-thinking his life choices, but in reality he is still minutes prior that. He is not really thinking about what numbers his fingers are pressing which, so far, has resulted in one unsuccessful attempt at opening the buildings entrance doors.  
He’s going to sleep, _oh_ , how he’s going to sleep, all day tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that until the New Year comes and he has to return to work and everything will fall into the right places again.

The doors lock is one button away from coming open, when Johnnys senses are sending red flags to his brain as somebody has locked his body inbetween their arms in a second. The fight or flight response quickly settles on the first option and Johnnys limbs go from being sluggish to completely tense. He sharply turns around, getting himself out of the grasp at the same time, and pushes the other body away with all the power he has, still taking a few steps back, just in a case he still needs to protect himself.

But the person in front of him, that is now sitting down on the ground, ruining the perfect layer of the soft snow, and throwing around curses that could be merged into one _‘why would you do that?’_ isn’t anything dangerous.

“How was I supposed to know that it was you?”

“I don’t know? Maybe by checking your phone?”

Johnny truly hasn’t taken a look at the device since he has left the house, but he has to give it to himself about the great defense skills he has. But that also doesn’t change the fact that Ten is still down because of Johnnys outburst and even if he is one of the, if not the last person Johnny would like to see today again, he still goes closer and extends his hand for help. Ten accepts it without a doubt, brushing his clothes clean in the process. The way he stumbles a little bit before standing completely on his own and the glossy eyes give away Tens drunk state, a thought of something bad happening to him on his way here rushes through Johnnys mind. Still, he lets the other go as soon as possible and takes the same steps back, only now back towards the door.

“So, did you check your phone or not?” Johnnys going back to the moment he sat and ate the small donut he would call the Christmas dinner days later, he could’ve eaten it on the way and now been up in the flat, not outside and thinking of reasons why he could deny his place for any guests tonight.

“No, I didn’t.”

Tens face flares up in a sneaky smile, “Oh! That’s even better!” Before Johnny can ask what his _friend_ is doing here, Ten occupies himself with rummaging through his shoulder bag. Either he doesn’t have a lot of stuff in there or Ten really knows every single corner of that bag, but he soon enough fishes out a tiny packet. “Well, I texted you, asking if we could quickly meet up tonight… but you didn’t answer in time! So, I decided to come over, not like – come over, but check if you’re at home or not. And I guess I got lucky!” He bravely takes steps forward to meet Johnny, his anger by being pushed down already forgotten, some kind of happiness taking over that.  
When Ten moves his palm with, what Johnny now recognizes as a gift, it makes the elders skin crawl. Strangely enough, he had the same idea – do whatever he wants for a while, but send Ten a text at a reasonable time - if he could come outside for five minutes – and give his own gift to him.  
“Merry Christmas! Don’t open it yet though! But! You need to know that I have the other one!” Maybe Johnny would have turned him down, if his own purchased bag in the coats pocket wouldn’t be burning his skin underneath. He slowly takes the wrapped up square and looks rather at it than Ten, who’s probably waiting for a reaction. Johnny presses around the tiny area, there’s something hard in the middle.

He thinks through twice about giving Ten the gift he has prepared, because the other made the effort to come and see him on this cold, family-friendly evening and even prepared a present that excites something deep down in Johnny. But he just can’t make himself forget about what happened earlier and what kind of a fool his own gift could make out of him now. Johnny looks back to Ten who is still joyfully waiting for something.  
Maybe, just maybe. “Aren’t your sister mad you left her at home alone?”

The question doesn’t bother Ten, “Nah, we weren’t doing anything much anyways. Eating, drinking, games, movies… nothing interesting. I told her the truth though! Said that I would go and buy something more to drink and drop a gift too, so she can’t be mad!”

The curiosity killed the cat. If Johnny thought that maybe he could _forgive_ Ten in a way, then his false answer flicked a switch. “Ten… I don’t—I don’t think that I can do this anymore, that _we_ shouldn’t do this anymore.”

Ten either doesn’t understand what Johnny means because of all the alcohol he has consumed or he doesn’t want to understand and keeps on lying, “What… what do you mean?” Even if his face has _question_ written all over it, the smile still is there, _it just can’t be innocent, it can’t_.

“I mean… that it’s better if we stop being… friends. Sorry, I just can’t do it.” Johnny can only watch as Tens mood falls, but there’s nothing that can be done.

Ten lets out a confused laugh, “You can’t do _what_?” As he takes a half step closer, Johnny presses closer to the doors with his back. “Did—did something happen? Did _I_ do something?” Ten must have noticed the lack of wish of a physical contact as he stills in his place, “Johnny, you know that you can talk to me and we—”

“No, it’s not about talking. It’s about… _more_. When I think about it, we are far too different and, and… I don’t know, things just aren’t meant to be.”

“What do you mean _things_?”

“You know what _things_ , I don’t want to have this conversation again.”

“What _conversation_?!” Johnny really doesn’t know what Ten wants right now - a clean love confession, because that would probably only make everything worse, but he couldn’t have been that blind and not notice that Johnny has been struggling to keep their relationship on a friendship level. So he won’t confess now and hopefully never, because he can’t get into Tens mind and know what the hell is he thinking.

“For fucks sake, Ten… I’m going home,” Johnny turns around and nails the code in seconds, “Merry Christmas.”

* * *

The next few days are a blur, Johnny wakes up, does nothing, snacks on something that is still left in the kitchen and hasn’t gone bad, takes a shower, scrolls through the internet, avoiding any new notifications and messages, thinks about how shitty life is, goes back to sleep. Yuta still hasn’t come over, but when he does, Johnny hopes he brings some delicious food.

In all the free time he has to sulk around and think about what is the reason for us living on this cursed planet, Johnny has come to a conclusion of how lonely his big apartment actually is and that, positively, there has to be at least one animal that wouldn’t mind living with him and mostly taking care of itself. He should pay a visit to a shelter once the New Year’s over or look for some lone animals on the internet. 

Maybe Johnny should have taken some extra work, so he could fill up all the free hours he still has for the next week. Maybe he should start watching some mainstream show that he will forget about soon. Or try picking up a new hobby that he won’t probably be good at and ruining his mood even more.

* * *

What Johnny decides upon is taking a shower, putting all the dirty clothes in the washing machine, getting in his car and heading to the closest grocery store that is good enough to get quality products for a nice dinner, that could also be the next days breakfast and maybe even lunch, who knows. The New Year is around the corner anyway, he should celebrate it somehow.

History repeats itself and yet again Johnny meets Sicheng, while standing in a long line full of people trying to refill their food supplies before the next big event approaches. They have a few small conversations about the huge amount of people here, how nice the weather is this winter and other useless things. Sicheng doesn’t mention anything about the Christmas party or how has his friend been feeling, Johnny is glad. The time passes quicker and he stops noticing how the lady in front of him keeps stepping on his shoes.

Johnny waits until the other is done with putting the groceries in a paper bag and offers to drive him to his house. Sicheng hesitates a bit at the start, but soon enough gives in and takes the passenger seat next to Johnny.

“Has Kun texted you?” It’s a simple question, Johnny and Kun are acquaintances, it wouldn’t be that strange for them to exchange messages, but nevertheless – Kun hasn’t.

Johnny shakes his head, keeping his eyes on the road, “No, he should have?”

Sicheng drags something between a hum and a Hm for a few seconds too long, making Johnny think that there is something he would like to stay hidden. “Don’t be disappointed if he doesn’t, okay, but he thought about inviting you to his birthday party. Although I would call it a gathering.”

“Oh, yeah!” Johnny actually forgot that Kuns birthday is at the very start of the year, “Didn’t even think about it.” His own birthday is approaching slowly, he doesn’t feel like celebrating it right now. Kun is a nice guy, Johnny has nothing against him now and it could be a good way to welcome the New Year in contrast to Christmas, unless… Kun is still a friend of Tens, so Ten most definitely is going to be there too. Maybe Johnny will find a different place to spend New Years Eve.

The younger fidgets in his seat, “Your relationships aren’t my business, but Ten straight-up said that he won’t be coming.” The careful way in which Sicheng says it makes Johnny feel pitiful. Obviously, there is no way that Yuta and Sicheng haven’t talked about him and Ten, Johnny doesn’t want to know a single thing about their discussions.

* * *

**_Qian Kun  
_ ** _Hey! If you don’t mind passing the new year  
in a boring company, then I’m letting you  
know that I’m going to have a “party” at  
my place_

_It’s supposed to be a mix between my birthday  
AND the new year_

_Let me know if you’re coming or not!_

* * *

Turns out it is pretty hard to find a gift that would suit Kun and would not be something basic, like a book or some expensive coffee. Johnny settles for a very warm and soft pair of beige-coloured mittens and a bottle of some old, red wine, and a red ribbon around them.

He meets up with Yuta before, so they would arrive at the same time and Johnny wouldn’t feel out of place around all the strangers, although the younger assures that he doesn’t know Kuns friends either. They slowly sip on some champagne while Yuta gets ready and talks about how Sicheng has been trying to find an interesting city attractions in China, as Kun, apparently, is going to visit his homeland for a while and is leaving soon, so his friend had thought of such a gift and hasn’t been accepting any other ideas. Johnny can only hum approvingly, to assure that he is listening.

They decide to call a taxi and leave Johnnys car by his friends apartment. They are already a bit late to the set time, Sicheng texts Yuta to pick up some more snacks and the pair ends up spending even more time fooling around in a small grocery store, the slight tipsy feeling making all the small things funny. Once they get out from the building, the sudden contrast of the warm and the cold temperatures makes Johnny slightly shiver in his long coat on their way to the event.

Johnny isn’t really buzzing with excitement about today, but when they stand outside of the so familiar entrance door, waiting until someone up there will press on a button to unlock the door although Johnny knows the code by heart, it really starts to sink in. Ten is possibly up there, the 5th floor, on the left. Directly opposite Kun. What if they run into each other while getting up? What if Ten changes his mind and decides to come to the party? Yuta isn’t a _good_ friend with ten, but neither are they stranger to each other, they’d probably have something to talk about for a minute or two, while Johnny would stand by not saying a word. He doesn’t want to see Ten, he has been pressing any thoughts about the man to the back of his head, not letting them completely ruin these festive weeks. Johnny hopes that as soon as he stops doing that, he has to be back to work and the usual routine will swallow him up, not allowing even a free second for his head to wander back to his friend.

The sound of the door opening and Yuta nudging his arm to go in makes Johnny come back down to earth.

_Everyone_ is drunk when they finally arrive – more or less, depends, Kun definitely - Sicheng not so much. Yuta still leaves a comment about the two starting earlier than others, since Sicheng has been here for hours in order to help Kun with getting everything ready, to what the younger only shrugs his shoulders and continues to busy himself with a tangerine.

Johnny observes that most of the people look younger than him, they probably have only started university. Not that he minds, Johnny’s one of the elders in his own friend group too, it’s just interests him how Kun, who is a foreigner, has so many people younger than him around.  
A tall guy, who constantly stutters in any language that he speaks and often pops up around Sicheng, has decided to entertain Johnny with a mix of vodka and juice and bunch of stories about anything, telling them with so much hand gestures, that at moments it gets a little bit dangerous. Johnny tries to share his own experiences, but often the other doesn’t understand a word or two and makes the elder frustrated. To try and keep his mouth shut more than letting it talk, Johnny takes small sips from his cup until it’s empty once and twice. Getting up for the third time is way more hilarious than any previous ones, the road to the table now has more obstacles and his legs are way softer than before.

When brown coloured substance has found its way into Johnnys cup, he turns back around and doesn’t see the guy where he was sitting just a minute ago. Johnny knows that he didn’t finish listening to another adventure, about what exactly he doesn’t know, but neither does he bother looking for the man, just thinks that he didn’t even ask for his name.  
So, he needs to find a new way to entertain himself. To Johnnys luck, Yutas brown hair is floating between some people, walking in into another room. The door is open and Johnny takes that as an invitation to join in to whatever is going on there.

Nothing much is happening – turns out it’s just a kitchen. There’s the usual trio consisting of Kun, who keeps laughing at Sicheng, who isn’t as happy as his friend, and Yuta just minding his own business, no wanting to be a part of the chaos in the other room and trying to soothe Sicheng. Johnny just looks at the situation in front of him, until Sicheng asks him to help looking for shot glasses, because _Kun is fucking useless now_ and _should just go and fuck around somewhere else!_  
Johnny also isn’t the most clear-minded person in the room, but he can easily pick up Sichengs annoyed tone. He’s in this space for the first and has no clue where anything could be placed, but nonetheless Johnny sets his cup on the nearest surface and starts opening the cupboards next to him. There’s plates and plates, and bowls, mugs, food and plates again. He hopes he hasn’t simply not noticed the glasses, as his vision has gotten slightly blurry and if something is behind the endless rows of plates, it isn’t there for Johnny.

Kun is dancing around the small space, moving his hips vigorously, so he wouldn’t stumble against any corners. He manages to reach Johnnys side, shaking his head that the taller is still looking at the wrong place and with his free hand takes Johnnys cup, puts it to his lips and lets as much liquid slide down his throat as he can handle. Soon after that Kun leaves the cup behind, just like his friends, and disappears out of the door.

Johnny can hear Sicheng sigh and, not long after, Yuta softly and carefully asks into the room if _these are the right ones?_ Sicheng goes over to check and, bingo, yes, they are the right ones. The elder can hear Yuta telling Sicheng that he shouldn’t get so worried about small things and that everything will be okay, _everyone’s drunk anyway_. There’s more shuffling and as Johnny closes the last open cupboard in front of him, he sees Yuta resting his chin on Sichengs shoulder, not only that, but his arms are around the others torso, while the youngest doesn’t mind at all – just continues to wipe the glasses clean. Suddenly Johnny feels like he shouldn’t be here, so he leaves.

There’s very little drink left after Kun took care of most of it, Johnny finds himself at the table covered with bottles again. He could take anything at this point, all alcohol tastes the same way anyway – bad. He’s not sure what the bottle in his hand contains, but he can clearly tell that his aiming has gotten bad, hopefully Kun won’t mind the stain that he just left on the tablecloth. Maybe he should stop drinking, maybe at least slow down, but he doesn’t have to hurry home and _maybe_ he and Kun are now good enough friends for him to sleep here during the next day. He should find him and ask about it.

Someone comes to stand next to him, when Johnny turns, he easily recognises the tanned face – the tall, loud story telling guy.

“What time is it?” Johnny’s not sure for how long has he been here, but since they managed to be late to the start of the gathering, they can’t be that far from the midnight.

And the next scene plays in such a slow motion, that drunk Johnny can’t tell if it’s reality or not: the tall guy turns to look at him, making sure that the question is directed to him. His plastic glass is already on the table, his long hands reach behind his back to pat his butt, which, at first, Johnny finds strange, but soon realises that there’s such a thing as back-pockets. Apparently the other finds nothing in there, as he moves to his pant front ones. Left side – again nothing, right side – something’s in there and the mans face lights up with a smile. With a smooth motion he reaches in the lucky pocket and manages to yank his phone out with such a power, that the back of his hand hits a poor, thankfully empty glass bottle. It swings from side to side for a bit, the guy doesn’t really pay attention on it, but Johnny can see it – it will fall, but does he want to do anything about it? Not really.  
There’s a second of silence, the sound of thick glass hitting a hard surface and breaking into pieces and then there’s silence again. Everyone is looking on the floor, Johnny decided to look up to the person next to him. And they might have stayed silent, but the dumbfounded expression that the other guy has frozen into makes Johnny laugh out loudly. And suddenly, the rest of people start to cheer, instead of being sad and starting to blame someone for not being careful. All the clapping makes the sound seem too unbearable for Johnnys ears and makes him wonder if Kuns neighbours won’t be pissed at him after this.

The tall guy still shows Johnny his phone screen, although he himself concentrates on shouting for Kun. It’s either 11:43 pm or 11:48 pm, Johnny couldn’t tell since the others arm kept on shaking, it’s only 5 minutes anyway.

Through the whole disorganization, Kun and yet another new face along with him find their way to the pair and the spot of the catastrophe. Kun isn’t quite angry, he is probably too drunk to, but he still nags about the mess, apparently, _Lucas_ has managed to make and quickly gets down to pick up the shattered glass. So does Johnny and the newcomer, who is notably short, not like Lucas, Johnny smiles to himself. Kun tells Lucas to go and find a bag where to put the pieces or at least Sicheng, who would then find a bag.  
They three are left to cautiously collect the bottle parts and try not to cut their hands in the process.

“Kun, can I sleep here for a while after?”

Kuns chin is resting on his knee, the words come out muffled, “If you don’t mind sharing a duvet with a guy or two, or are okay with sleeping in a bathtub…. Sure.”

Lucas is back quickly, throwing the plastic bag in the middle, he mutters something quickly in a foreign language which only Johnny seems not to understand, as the other two next to him sigh disapprovingly and let Lucas run off to do something else. They slowly finish cleaning the floor, Kun holds the bag while the other two shove all the pieces inside it. When they’re done, Kun hurries away to put the dangerous bag somewhere, where none of the drunk people could find it and possibly injure themselves.

Johnny is left standing with the new guy and all he can think about is how much taller he is than the other. If he would know _anything_ about the shorter, if they weren’t complete strangers even after spending all this time in the same room, Johnny would have definitely said a joke of two that are running in his mind, but not this time, at least not right now. They still make Johnny laugh to himself quietly, and right when he decides that it would be the time to make a small talk, Yuta rushes towards him with a terrified expression.

“Please tell me we bought birthday candles at the store!” Yuta places his hands on Johnnys shoulders and stares directly in his eyes, pleading. Johnny just can’t make himself serious about this, the alcohol definitely is the one to blame. “Johnny?!” Yuta is slightly shaking him, only making everything around dizzier than it is.

Johnny shakes his head in denial, _no, we forgot_. Yuta understands the gesture fast, brings his hands to his cheeks, rubbing them harshly. “Sicheng will kill me!” Yuta leaves back to the kitchen, Johnnys slow processing only now realises how many things keep on happening.

He turns around to reach for his cup and check if the man besides him still hasn’t found an activity to distract himself with, when Johnny has clarified that the small talk still could work, he already has taken a breath in and opened his mouth, when the he is silenced again.

“Ten might have some.” Even if the person next to him is one of the shortest Kun friends he has met, his voice comes out way deeper than Johnny would have ever imagined. It makes all the jokes he had come up in the past five minutes suddenly are gone and replaced with a fact that his own voice is probably higher than the others. “Kuns friend, lives in the opposite doors.” Yes, Johnny knows that. His mind goes blank.

“Won’t he be out somewhere?”

The other drinks something that makes shifts his face into a frown, “Nah, I was at his place before this, he said he’ll stay home.” His body shivers, Johnny doesn’t really pay attention to him anymore. “This is disgusting.” He can only feel how the shorter moves away, towards the other table, which is covered with a huge variation of sweet and salty snacks.

* * *

He is doing it for Kun and maybe Yuta, so Sicheng wouldn’t explode. Even if on the outside Johnny might look completely calm and like a cat would have bitten his tongue, on the inside he has to keep on chanting that he isn’t doing this for his own profit, he is doing this, because a friend of his is having a birthday in around five minutes and he failed to completely fulfil the usual birthday traditions by forgetting to buy some candles. Right.

Johnny is already standing by a different door when he realises, that maybe he isn’t ready to see the other yet. To see his tiny body and cute face welcoming him inside his home once again.

Say hello, ask for candles, get them, maybe wish a Happy New Year, leave. Simple as that.

It has been a while since Johnny has been standing in this place. The door is still the same, the doorhandle slightly out of the place, the colour around the keyhole has come off and the doorbell barely holds against the wall – that’s why everyone apparently knocks when visiting Ten. The absence of loud people around him, suddenly makes Johnny feel tired and lets a wave of sleepiness take over him. He closes his eyes just to test out the waters and give himself a second to rest. He could leave and go home right now, unnoticed, go to sleep in his big bed. It sounds too good to be true, instead Johnny leans next to the door, against the doorframe, one of his side uncomfortably pressing against it, squeezing his arm in process. Ten really seems to take his time with answering the door, so Johnny knocks against the doors again. Ten can’t be sleeping yet, the people at his neighbour flat are too loud to let others rest.

Theirs is still no answer, so Johnny knocks again, this time way harder. He is still doing it for Kun and there isn’t much time left.

Johnny starts to think about other people who know or at least are familiar enough to let him suddenly come over and sleep on their couch - at the best scenario. His eyes keep on getting more and more tired, until a point where it’s hard to keep them open. His neck is starting to hurt and can’t really keep his head up anymore and lets it swing back for a moment. Johnny wants to sleep.

“Who’s there?”

Ask for candles, get them, give them to Yuta, find a place to sleep, sleep.

Johnny exhales deeply before announcing in a slumber tone, “It’s me.”

There is a brief moment of silence, which Johnny only waits through. He believes that Ten won’t leave the other side of the door and go back to doing what he was doing, he isn’t that evil and neither is Johnny willing to move, too lazy and tired to. His neck starts to hurt from being bent for too long, but the calm around him still manages to slowly lull the man in sleep.

“Why are you here?”

Breath in, breath out, “Do you have candles? Birthday -- birthday candles?” Another few seconds of silence, someone releases a loud scream from the opposite apartment, Johnny doesn’t have much time. Unsure if Ten is still in the same place or maybe already checking his drawers, Johnny continues. “It’s Kuns birthday in, like, two minutes and Yuta forgot to buy them, and some guy said that you might have some, and here I am.” _Come on, Ten!_

To the elders surprise, the door in front of him is being unlocked at a fascinating speed, or Johnny’s just drunk-amazed by usual things, but nonetheless the door opens narrowly and, even though Johnny can barely see anything through it, he doesn’t miss Tens gesture for him to come in.

Candles, Yuta, sleep.

His sleepy state makes things even harder to do, Johnnys legs feel so soft, if he takes a step too harshly – he will squish the shin, so he takes _very_ careful steps, taking the possibility completely seriously.  
It is slightly complicated, because Ten in front of him is moving to his kitchen too fast – Johnny can’t keep up with him. But he doesn’t really mind, yeah, Sicheng might be currently cursing Yuta out, but they haven’t seen how irresistible Ten looks right now!

Johnny doesn’t really look around the familiar surroundings of Tens pace, he pretty much knows everything, it might be a little more tidier, but that is not what matters right now. What matters are Tens bare legs. The winter weather doesn’t make any difference – they have managed to stay the same warm brown colour, his thighs kind of resemble caramel if you fantasize a little bit. The thought of biting into them makes Johnny smile to himself. Even his feet don’t have anything on them, there’s barely a sound of their footsteps, but it still helps Johnny to follow him. He is wearing short, black shorts, who barely cover the skin underneath his bottom, if you look closely enough when Ten takes a bigger step, you can notice a little, bright blue line at the edge, it doesn’t take much for Johnny to understand that that’s the hem of boxers. _Really, bright blue?_  
The top of the body is covered with a white t-shirt, which is at least two sizes too big for his small body and hides all the good sights. However, Johnny knows that there’s a slim waist, a toned torso, deep collarbones. His shoulders are pretty wide though, something Johnny never really figured out how.

Ten tells him to look in some drawers he points to, Johnny turns his head and looks, but doesn’t move to them, he continues to stand in the middle of the kitchen and prefers to watch how Ten is standing on his tip toes, trying to peek what is hidden on the cupboards highest shelf. His brows are furrowed, tongue peaking out of the corner of his lips and Johnny probably has less than a minute until midnight, hopefully Yuta is doing alright.

* * *

Johnny asks himself if there is anything he could lose and the drunk side of him obviously answer that no, _not really_.

* * *

Ten is completely tense, he hasn’t made any movements since Johnny found himself right behind the younger and pulled him into his arms, lazily holding them around the others torso. Johnny starts to sway from one side to other unhurriedly, trying to soothe down the person in front of him. He is still sleepy, that’s a reason good enough to lay his forehead against the dark-haired scalp in front of him, although the nuzzling part comes spontaneously. Tens hair smell good, so fresh, maybe like aloe, maybe.  
The current situation makes Johnny feel almost like on the cloud nine. Almost. His body feels so warm, his arms are full of electricity and each time Tens shirt brushes against them, Johnny can feel how the electricity travels up to his neck, his head and down through his spine. He could fall asleep right here.

“Johnny?”

Instead of answering, Johnny hums, _yes, that’s me_. He lets his heavy head slide down onto Tens shoulder, it’s a perfect fit. Ironically, Ten actually smells of sweets, Johnny doesn’t know if it’s the clothing or the exposed neck in front of him, Johnny just wants to eat Ten.  
“I’ve missed you.”  
The alcohol has taken a tool on Johnnys voice, it sounds like a whine, continued by a deep exhale. “Ten…” It is more of a grunt than anything, Johnny can feel with his arms that the others breathing got caught somewhere for a second, “I’m sorry, please, don’t be angry at me.”

And then it just happens somehow naturally, like Johnny used to do back in high school, but then things didn’t matter as much. Right in front of him, Johnny plants one small kiss on the side of Tens neck, the expected sweet taste doesn’t fill his mouth, but his lips are burningly hot from the warm skin.  
Ten is still standing, looking straight ahead. But he hasn’t tried to leave or stop Johnny, so the elder keeps testing the waters by planting another small kiss little bit higher than the first one. It’s amazing how addicting such a small thing can be, but what else can you do than continue, when every next time feels better?

“I don’t want you to hurt,” Ten bends his neck ever so slightly, that Johnny doesn’t notice, “you don’t deserve it.” Neither does the elder see how the other closes his eyes, slipping into the moment, Johnny’s too busy with covering his neck. “You can’t imagine…” Johnny has reached Tens jaw, he needs a few breaths to go on, the neck is covered in small red spots, they’re hard to see on the honey-coloured skin, but Johnny knows they are there. Ten has _allowed_ to do that to him, the thought settles a thriving feeling in his stomach. He should keep going, maybe Ten will change his mind.  
An extra slow kiss on the end of his jaw, “… how lonely it is without you.” Johnny only manages to reach the next spot, when Tens back falls into his chest, pressing the air out of his lungs with a heavy grunt. Johnnys lips just start curling into a smile, when suddenly there are tons of other peoples voices around them – cheering, singing, screaming on top of their lungs. The sudden change of atmosphere makes Johnny stop in his tracks and stand straight, his arms automatically wrap tighter around Ten, who seems to be curling into them even more.  
And then comes all the bangs from outside. Johnny quickly turns his head towards the window, you can’t see the fireworks from his point of view, only the sky that keeps changing colours. It’s midnight, Johnny was supposed to be with Yuta, congratulating Kun, drinking champagne and congratulate everyone with the new year that has come. Candles… he forgot about candles. Now it’s Johnnys turn to freeze in place, Ten is still resting against his front.

Out of nowhere, Johnny is deep in thought and suddenly something feels off.

Tens arms lace around his own. Johnny doesn’t remember when was the last time he was at such a peaceful place during this time of the year.

Ten must have noticed how silent it got, the elder can feel him twist around in front. When Johnny turns back to Ten, he has turned to face the other, Johnnys arms still hang around him, now on his back. However, Tens hands come up to cup the tallers cheeks and shamelessly brings his face low enough to connect their lips.

Sadly, it’s not their first kiss, but Johnny can imagine that it is, because it’s a whole different story this time. He doesn’t know what is going on in Tens mind, how long he thinks to keep doing this, so Johnny has to get as much as he can. Yeah, Ten might be kissing him, but if he puts one of his hands on Tens scalp and turns his head just slightly to the side, just like this, he can kiss him deeper and, apparently, also get out a moan out of the other if his fingers start to play with Tens hair. And if he lets his other hand wander around the smaller back, Ten tends to squirm time to time, especially when Johnny grips his hip. The elder finds it so fascinating, so much little things, and they all turn him on.

They go like that for a while, longer than the cheers from outside, until Ten moves away and Johnny thinks that it’s good, not too much for the first time, enough. But the other seems to have other plans as he eagerly kisses Johnny again and takes one of his wrists. Ten starts to guide Johnny out of the kitchen, to somewhere, he can make only a few steps, when out of nowhere Johnny decides to pick him up – one arm under his knees and the other under his arms, Ten doesn’t mind, “To the bedroom!” he points to the room with closed doors, as if Johnny wouldn’t know his ways around here. Johnny doesn’t know if it’s the alcohol, Tens dumb gesture, him trying not to fall as they go or just happiness overall, but between the kisses he is receiving, a laugh bubbles up. Ten is sweetly giggling too.


	2. Chapter 2

When he pushes the duvet further down to his waist – the cold air quickly starts annoyingly picking at his skin, if Johnny pulls the cover back up – then it gets too hot again. The duvet is just too heavy, yes, it is winter and the flats tend to be cold because of the bad heating. There’s no way Ten himself isn’t burning hot. He is sandwiched between a thick mattress from the bottom and a half of Johnnys body on top, the other half taken by the same cursed duvet.

The room is in complete darkness, Johnny can tell even through closed eyes, it must be early morning hours as it feels like he’s waking up from a deep sleep, if he recalls right, then Ten also closed the curtains. His body doesn’t want to move, but his mind is slowly coming to senses. Johnny would gladly change the position he’s currently in, but firstly – he’s too lazy, secondly – the warmth makes him sweat and the sweat has made him somewhat stuck to the body beneath him. Ten is sleeping on his stomach, strangely not minding the weight on top on him, Johnnys chest is against his back, he can feel each of the slow breath the other takes and tries to sync his own with it.

One of Johnnys arm is draped over the rest of Tens back, the palm of it is resting against the waist, the soft, mild skin pleasantly staying in contact with his fingertips. He massages the surface lightly and it reminds him of dough, squishy bread dough. If Johnny wasn’t so sleepy, he’d let out a laugh. He starts to knead the flesh slowly, just for fun, and it is so elastic and mushy, and warm, nice overall, until Ten grunts disapprovingly, the sound following an annoyed “Stop!” and the other twitching away from the touch. Johnny stops and decides to get back to sleeping.

A few minutes pass and Johnny has woken up again, this time it being Tens fault. Ten’ s trying to escape from beneath the other, pulling Johnnys skin in the process, leaving small, painful traces. The elder quickly leans on his side, pushing the cover up from bed, as soon as Ten feels that he is free again, he hurries out of the bed, settling a confusion with his actions, “What are— ”

“Pee.”

Johnny watches Ten stride out of the bedroom in boxers only, leaving the door open, and Johnny realises that he himself hasn’t bothered to put on any more clothes and thank god, because it’s too hot already. That makes him wonder where did he put the excess clothing and suddenly remembers that his coat definitely isn’t here – it should be at Kuns place, hopefully. But that means that he will have to go over there today and possibly face Yuta, Sicheng in the best scenario. Technically he should congratulate Kun again, too. That is, if anyone will still be there and somebody will have woken up by the time Johnny gets there.

He lets himself fall back down on the mattress, now laying completely on his back, considers staring at the ceiling until Ten comes back, but his eyes are too heavy and are closed again soon after. However, Johnny won’t let himself fall back to sleep alone. The room is completely quiet now, he has unlimited space on the average-sized bed, nothing is happening around. The perfect opportunity to realise how dry his mouth feels and how his throat is sore. Johnny thinks about waking up again and getting some water from kitchen, only thinks, his excuse being that his head would rather stay in a horizontal position right now. It doesn’t hurt, but it feels _full_ , simply unpleasant. The sooner he falls back to sleep, the sooner he won’t feel out of place.

Footsteps can be heard coming through the door and it’s not long until Ten is back. Before the other joins Johnny in bed, he _shoots his shot_ , “Do you have water?” And, wow, does his voice sounds bad. It’s clear that he had drunk before, his throat is sore, the short sentence comes along with a voice crack. Luckily to him, Ten lays down on the very edge of the bed and starts to look for something underneath the bed. The exact sound of a plastic bottle falling onto the ground echoes in the room and the relief that overwhelms Johnny is impossible to put in words. When Ten finally manages to get a hold of the full bottle and throw it next to Johnny, the elder is back up again, clutching the bottle in his hands like this would be his last drink ever. Meanwhile Ten rearranges the pillows, puffing them up, and slowly sneaks back under the duvet, keeping a small, but safe distance between them.  
  


“Are you doing anything today?” Tens voice isn’t clear, but neither is it a bad as Johnnys, he’s just still sleepy. He is laying on his side, facing Johnny, who is still drinking water.

When half of the bottle contents are gone, Johnny pulls it away from his lips and hums in denial. While he’s putting the cap back on and trying to find a good spot for it - next to the bed on the floor – Ten has carefully creeped up to Johnnys side. Even if the elder hasn’t properly settled in the bed to return to the sleeping state, Tens head has found its way on the others chest and his limbs have tangled around Johnny legs and torso, not minding the constant movements around them.  
In the end Tens head slips off and moves to Johnnys side, which should sadden him, but it lets him reposition himself in a way more comfortable sleeping spot. Ten curls closer to Johnny and pulls the duvet around him, snuggling up completely, Johnny thinks he must’ve gotten cold while being out of the bed. He pulls the shorter even closer and it doesn’t register in his mind how good he is feeling.

Suddenly, there’s a small spot on his thigh – and it hurts, hurts like hell. Someone squeezing a tiny amount of flesh between their fingers, no their nails and twisting it right so that the ache would stay there for a while, a red spot, maybe even a scar. It’s a pinch. “Ouch!”

“Revenge.”

* * *

“Xiaojun said thanks for the candles.”

Johnny is lazily resting on Tens couch, slowly chewing on the chips the younger provided to him as a hangover breakfast in the middle of the day. Ten said that he should go and congratulate Kun, and give him the present. The elder thought about it too, but the chances of running into Yuta are too high, so he stayed in the bed instead, asked if Ten could take his coat from there and rolled back in the covers. “Who’s Xiaojun?” Johnny asks with an honest confusion.

“You’ve literally talked to him.” Well, Johnny talks to a lot of people, he keeps looking at Ten for more clues, but the other is busy with the cake Kun has given him. “Mmm, light hair, defined face, he’s kind of short- ”

“Aaahh,” That’s, obviously, the guy who told Johnny that might have the candles, for a moment he completely forgot about the others existence, “yeah, I remember him.” Ten comes to take a seat on the couch and even though Johnny draws his legs closer, so there would be an empty space, the younger still sits on top of them. “Was Yuta still there?”

“Hm, no. He had left with Sicheng when everyone had gone to sleep. And, by the way,” Ten takes a pause to bite in the cake. Once his own mouth is stuffed, he wordlessly offers the piece to Johnny, who says not to it politely by shaking his head. “apparently, he was angry, I wonder why…”

“I don’t know,” Johnny tries to shake Ten off his legs, “but he did seem kind of nervous. I can ask Yuta about it later.” Ten is pressing his weight down more and more purposely, “Speaking of that guy, my car is with him, I should go pick it up.”

Ten stops moving, “Like, now?”

“Not _right_ now, but…” Johnny turns his head to look out of the window, it gets dark fast outside, the day is still short and he doesn’t know what time it is now exactly. It’s after midday, how much – he doesn’t know. “…I don’t want to walk around in the dark.”

The younger nods understandably, “But you do know that busses exist, right?” Johnny notices how quickly the dessert is decreasing on the small plate. “Or are you too fancy to get on one?” Tens question is supposed to come out teasingly and it does, but it also makes the other wonder when was the last time he actually took a bus to get somewhere.

He leaves it at that, “Do you have work tomorrow?”

“Mhm, you?”

“Me too.”

* * *

Johnny wakes up early, way too early, it’s little after 4 am on his first workday in this year. He went to sleep way sooner than usually, he had to, if he wanted to look and feel decently. But instead of nice, long sleep, he is completely awake. His bed is big and allows him to roll around it as much as the male wants, but that doesn’t help him with falling back to sleep. But staring out of the window is also an option.

The more time passes, the more aware he becomes of the things that have happened. He is glad that things with Ten are okay again, or is saying _okay_ too modest of him. It was _fucking amazing_ , like he had reached some kind of a real life achievement. It makes him incredibly happy, to do things that he had been dreaming about for months, at one point he thought that he was so drunk, that everything was just his sleep imagination. He was too drunk, but no, it was all real.

But there’s a bittersweet side Johnny didn’t let to show while he was still at Tens place.

Johnny… isn’t sure what to do. Does he continue with the whole friend thing and go against his standards? It’s the second last thing he wants to do, first one being not talking to Ten again. But then again, how can Ten still see him simply as a friend? He deeply hopes this hasn’t moved to ‘friends with benefits’ kind of relationship.

Should he be straightforward and ask Ten how is he feeling or would that go down just like the previous conversations, where it was clear that the elder cares way more than the other. To be honest, Johnny is scared in a way.

* * *

Last weekend Ten _asked_ Johnny if there’s an afternoon he would be down to spend with each other, to say the least – Johnny was happy. That brings them to this moment in Johnnys living room with bunch of board games, Ten has found somewhere, scattered on the floor and the coffee table, half of which the elder sees for the first time in his life. Ten keeps on warning him to be careful with the _pizza-grease fingers_ , but sadly Johnny already managed to ruin a card or two and now owes Ten a cup of coffee and a piece of cake, so far. Neither of them watches the film on the TV, but it gives a nice background sound, so Johnny lets it be, not thinking about saving the energy.  
They have been like this for a few hours, starting off with a _dinner_ consisting of pizzas, that are now cold, and different drinks to both tastes, and then – games and movies. Or they planned so. The week hasn’t been anything special, but still, you have to expect for Johnny to be tired on a Friday afternoon. He is happily drained, if he would go to sleep at this exact moment – it wouldn’t take much to doze off, but he doesn’t mind staying up and spending time with Ten, he’ll catch up on sleep tomorrow.

“Will you stay over?”

“What, you tired already?” And on cue, a yawn creeps up on Johnny and Ten only snickers.

The elder answers after giving his arms and the stiff back a refreshing stretch, “No… but yes.” Johnny shuffles around to get blood rushing in his limbs, “I can pull an hour or two more. But you didn’t answer my question.”

Ten himself moves his arms over and over, some bones crack as he does so, “I don’t know…” He exhales deeply and rests his check in his palm, eyeing Johnny suspiciously. “Do you want me to stay?”

“Oh, _shut up!_ ” Johnny has learned it well that Ten is a tease, but a part of him still isn’t sure how to do _this_. To his luck, Ten laughs at his answer, easing the other unknowingly. “You can sleep in the bathroom, it’s right there.” His finger points behind his back, he can play too.

“A whole room to myself?” The younger puts his hand over his heart, face expression showing a staged gratitude, just like the tone of his voice, “Thank you!”

“I don’t have any spare blankets, though, I hope the rug will do the job.” Johnny innocently shrugs, his mind wondering what the other is going to say next, fingers impatiently tapping on the surface.

Ten crosses his arms in front of him, his face changes into something between a pout and angriness, “Why don’t you want to share, then?” He leans back in a challenge.

“Ha, give the devil a little finger, and he’ll take the whole hand.”

“Okay, but, wouldn’t it be very nice to cuddle with something warm in this _awfully_ cold night?”

“Geez,” Johnny sighs deeply in a fake defeat, “just say you can’t live without me and go.”

* * *

“Oh my God, you know what we could do?” Ten is beaming with happiness at his sudden idea, meanwhile all Johnny notices is how the others eyes have left the road in front of them, “We could pick up Sicheng from work!” Before Johnny can say anything, Ten turns his head away, thankfully. “Or! We could go buy some cakes from that café-shop by the old museum, how long would it take to get there?”

“You do know this won’t be your last time driving a car, right?” Johnny chuckles.

Ten _somehow_ managed to get his drivers license earlier this week, not that Johnny is surprised that he did, Ten just simply is a little bit absent-minded when by the wheel. But nonetheless, he could not refuse to be Tens first official passenger, aside from his driving instructor, who only _nags all the time about little things that nobody pays attention to anyway!_  
Johnny had come to meet Ten after work per usual, gone to his place with a bag of take-out and during the early dinner the younger had shyly asked if they could drive around _just a little bit_ with him being the driver, and who was Johnny to refuse.

“Yeah, but… sorry.”

“No! No, that’s not what I meant,” The complete turn of Tens mood makes the atmosphere slightly stiff in the vehicle, “it’s just funny to see you this excited. We can go where you want, y’know? It’s not that late yet.” Johnny reassuringly pats Tens thigh. “The café might be closing though.”

The car stops in front of the red light, only a few other cars are moving around and the song on the radio changes from a funky pop one to an old, known tune which Johnny can’t name at the moment. Ten puts his elbow on the armrest in the middle of them and leans his head on the hand, turning face towards the other, “We could buy them and then go somewhere in the outskirts to eat them.”

“The old museum _technically_ already is outskirts,” Ten snickers and before he can start on his protest, Johnny continues, “nah, but we can, I don’t know where though.”

Johnny’s munching on a cherry he was lucky enough to get on top of his cheesecake, when Ten shoots the question he is really tired of recently, “What do you want for your birthday?” Johnny only lets out a long groan of disapproval. “Listen, you can’t blame me, I literally don’t know what to get!” The elder fools around by groaning again and sliding down in the seat. Tens arm comes to innocently poke the others ribs, Johnny yelps quietly, not admitting the fact that Ten scared him slightly.

“Isn’t that the point? For me to not know what will I receive?” Johnny squints while looking up at ten, who stuffs his mouth with a big piece of soft chocolate cake.

“I’ll buy you socks.”

They both share a low laugh, Johnny thinks for a moment if there is anything he would actually like to get, but nothing comes up in his mind expect a pet he wanted to get at the end of last year, but that requires more serious approach than treating it as a gift, so he decides to keep his mouth shut.

The car is parked by a park Johnny has never been to, Ten says that you’re allowed to go there all day and night, but Johnny rather stays in the safe and warm place. You can’t see much because of the dark, but some benches and bunch of trees are easy to make out.

“Give me a taste.” Ten nods towards the cake that’s left in Johnnys box.

“How does that benefit me?”

“I’ll give you a piece of mine?”

Johnny shakes his head as he gets down another piece, “I don’t think that will be enough.” He proceeds to eat, pretending to ignore Tens gaze on him, or his cake.

Ten balances his paper box and the plastic fork on the dashboard and turns to side, facing the elder, resting his cheeks on both of his palms, “And how about a kiss from the Prince Charming?” he motions a peck on the cheek rather than a kiss, with a loud, wet sound, squeezing the eyes shut in the action.

Even if Johnny cringes slightly, he has to admit – the offer is pretty tempting, “Prince Charming, where?” The elder pretends to look around, getting up in his seat properly.

“Oh, shut up!” Ten whines dropping the façade, “Am I getting my piece or not?”

Johnny chuckles at the others antics before leaning in to get a quick peck from Tens lips. However, the younger quickly repositions himself, as if he would be doing this frequently, bending one leg underneath himself to use as a support to get closer to Johnny and one arm pushing against the elders upper thigh while the other comes to cup Johnnys right cheek. The elder drags a hum, making sure that the box in his lap isn’t close to tipping over and only then letting Tens lips graze against his own. Johnny is quite sure that nobody ever kisses the way Ten does – it’s not only about the things he does with his lips, tongue and teeth, but the way he makes sure to rub their noses or foreheads together as they stop for a quick moment to take a breath, how he always kneads and massages a spot, any spot of Johnnys skin with one of his hands – today it being an ear -, meantime the other hand holds Johnny close either by constantly playing with the others dark brown locks and rubbing his neck or wrapping the whole arm around Johnnys torso or rather his shoulders. Johnny makes sure to get himself closer until their chests barely touch, ready to spend some time in the same position.

However, just as elder does so, Ten quickly moves away a bit, leaving a surprised Johnny chasing after another kiss, not realising that it’s over already.

“The deal was one kiss, mister.” Ten looks at Johnny smirking, yet not leaning away. “It’s your turn now.” He sneaks his palm over Johnnys thigh to get a hold of the box in his lap and snatches it, although Johnny knows he wouldn’t have resisted anyway.

* * *

Ten is still reassuring Kun that it is more than okay for him to stay here, while Sicheng is helping Yuta with properly closing his heavyweight jacket. Johnny does feel a little bit left out, as he is standing by the group and just watching at the small mess two drunk people, them being Yuta and Kun, can cause in the not so big space of his apartments hall. Although, he is more than glad for not having to get them home. He did offer for everyone who wants to stay over after his birthday _dinner_ , but turns out all of his friends are too polite.

Johnny’s slightly lost in his thought when Yuta comes to crush him in a big hug, not minding his huge clothing in between them. “Happy birthday, man!” Johnny would hug him back, but his arms are squished to his sides, so the other could wrap both his arms around the tallers torso completely. “You’re the best!” Johnny can only laugh at his friend.

Sicheng sighs while working on his own buttons, “Yuta, come on,” Sicheng goes over to them and tries to free Johnny from his boyfriends grasp with one hand, “taxi’s waiting for us. Kun, are you ready?”

It takes a few tries to get Yuta off of his friend, as he had decided that the hug would be a great opportunity to rest for a minute or two, but soon enough Yuta’s back to clinging onto Sichengs side, “I love you, Johnny!”

“I love you, too~” Johnny answers the confession cheerfully, waving his hand in goodbye as Sicheng drags Yuta back towards the door. Johnny turns his attention back to Ten, who is now holding two plastic containers with a cake inside, while on his right, Kun looks completely zoned out, standing fully dressed. Johnny can hear how Yuta whispers an _I love you, too~_ to Sicheng before landing a loud peck on his cheek. Johnny goes over to Ten and throws his arm over the others shoulders, leaning biggest part of his weight on him, slightly tired.

“Kun?” Sicheng waves his hand in front of Kuns face, making Ten laugh, “Ready?” Kun blinks a few times before nodding eagerly and turning to leave. Ten quickly hands Sicheng both boxes containing the sweets, which he gladly accepts. Johnny lets Ten take care of getting them all out of his apartment, only shouting way too much _byes_ and _see you tomorrows_ in the process.

Johnny listens how Sicheng tells Yuta to hold onto the railing and then decides that he is done with this day by walking back to the living room and rather staring at the mess he will have to clean up, hopefully, tomorrow. He snatches a few chips from one of the bowls and heads towards the bedroom, knowingly that Ten will join him soon.

“Where did you get it?” Johnny’s laying in the bed awry, the duvet has wrapped around them strangely, not fully covering his legs, “I don’t think you can get amber around here.” Johnnys fingers play with a golden bracelet with one small pendant containing a warmly yellow piece. Tens fingers rhythmically massages the others scalp, sometimes scratching in roughly behind his ear, sometimes gently patting down his hair. Unlike Johnny, his position in the bed is proper – head on a pillow, body in a straight line, legs underneath the cover – technically Johnny, too, has a pillow, it’s just not on one of the beds ends, rather on Tens stomach.

“I, actually, got it a while back.” Ten sighs tiredly and Johnny feels slightly sad that he can’t reach the youngers hair to play with it soothingly. The metal pieces in his palm rub against each other. If Johnny wasn’t so lazy, he’d pull the duvet over his cold feet. “But then, like,…” As he waits for Ten to continue, he places the jewellery on top of the others bare chest. Even though the room is quite dark, the amber and Tens skin look good together.  
“Nevermind.”

Johnny adverts his gaze from Tens chest to his face, trying to change his mind, “No, I want to know.” Ten is quick to breathily laugh, his hand going down to caress the elders cheek slowly, his thumb brushing the skin underneath Johnnys eyes. Johnny can’t help it, but to close his eyes and lean into the touch. He could spend all his nights like this, birthday or not.

“Hey,” Ten playfully pulls at the other soft cheek, “don’t fall asleep like that.”

Johnny yawns and it takes a second for Ten to yawn too, “I’m not moving until you tell me how did you got it.” Johnny opens his eyes and lifts himself up slightly, to puff up the pillow and is back on it soon. “You didn’t steal it, did you?” Ten still stays silent and Johnny is starting to think that maybe it’s better to drop the topic or start again tomorrow, that’s a gift after all.

“No…” Tens fingers still for a moment in the brown locks, “That trip that you spontaneously took me to, the beach.” It doesn’t take Johnny long to figure out about what the other is talking about, he hums instead of answering. “I got it then – last morning. And, like, I _wanted_ to give you it earlier, but – I don’t know.” Johnny can feel the uneasiness that is slowly creeping over Ten, he hopes that his hand that is now rubbing the others skin tenderly calms him down. A question that used to bother Johnny lots, resurfaces in his mind, but he quickly decides to keep it for another time. “I thought that you wouldn’t be so… angry, I guess, if I gave it to you. But then,y’know.” Ten stretches his leg muscles, shifting Johnny in process. He bends his knees and keeps them like that, making the elder scoot closer his chest. “Honestly, I don’t know why are you still talking to me.”

Johnny wants to protest that they are beyond talking, even now, laying in bed almost naked, That’s far from talking. “Why did you leave that day?” Johnny has heard the answer, yet it doesn’t feel true at this moment, neither did it really months back.

“Then or all the other times?” Ten laughs out the words as if making fun of himself, Johnny dislikes it. He isn’t sure if Ten is waiting for an actual answer, but the comfort of the silent room isn’t like it was a few minutes ago. “Johnny, you’re so _fucking_ precious.” The part ‘ _to me_ ’ is missing out, but Johnny won’t think much about that. Tens hand leaves Johnnys head and out of a sudden Ten’s using his hands as fans for his eyes, “Aw, _shit_ ,” Ten sniffles, “don’t cry, don’t cry.”

The elder gets up from his horizontal position and easily moves over to sit next to Ten, the duvet is barely holding onto his body, but that is not what matters now. As soon as Johnnys body is next to the other, Ten lets himself slide to Johnnys side, his head and chest uncomfortably laying in Johnnys lap. Now, it’s Johnnys turn to run his fingers through the thick locks of Tens hair, even in the dark he can see how the tears leave small, wet spots on the fabric of the blanket.

It takes some time for Ten to calm down, while Johnny keeps on reassuring him that everything is okay, everything is going to be okay, until he falls in a light sleep, still in the elders lap. Johnny is left with a position he won’t be able to fall asleep, a silent room and the possible responses to the question Ten didn’t answer properly.

He hasn’t felt this good about life in a while, things are finally starting to go his way. But it has _always_ felt good before he reaches another downfall. Johnnys eyes automatically find Ten, who is as cozy as he has ever been around Johnny. He doesn’t want to think that it is going to be about the younger again, things have shifted greatly for them, but he can’t help himself. If he thinks about it, Johnny doesn’t know what he would do if Ten would leave again, maybe forever this time. All the time they’ve spent together this year has made Johnny fall in love more and more. Not that he has ever said it, only quietly admitted it to himself time to time when Ten is already sleeping, but he is far from that. The soft feeling inside his ribs is replaced with a twisting stomach and a hard heart.  
Hasn’t it felt like this all the other times, too? Like Johnny is doing the right thing, but then suddenly everything goes wrong. Is he _wasting_ his time right here and now, brushing Tens hair and watching how his shoulder lifts and falls as he breathes? Maybe, this won’t mean anything in the near future. Maybe this doesn’t mean anything to Ten _now_.

He retraces his hand from Tens sleeping form, rather keeping it close to his own side.

Johnny tries to slowly and extra carefully move out of underneath Ten, but his attempt startles the other awake anyway. Ten props himself up on one of elbows and tries to blink the sleep out of his eyes. Johnny doesn’t say a word, he moves to the edge of the bed, laying on his side, his back facing Ten. The duvet is covering the mattress wrongly, but he can’t be bothered to do anything about it, the corner of it will have to do for tonight.  
He has his eyes already closed when he can feel one of Tens warm arms sneaking around his abdomen. With him also comes a great part of the much needed cover Ten tries to pull over them with his leg. He then presses his cheek against Johnnys back and goes back to sleeping with a sigh.

* * *

The cheap halo headpiece on his head keeps slipping down as he tries to have a conversation with one of Jaehyuns friends. Surprisingly, they haven’t met before, so they have more than a few topics to wander around while the rest of the party stays in the background. The strangers wings on their back seem way more comfortable than whatever is going on on top of his head. From all the pushing around, the headpiece is slightly stuck in Johnnys hair and each movement of it hurts a bit. He compliments the others wings not expecting anything in return, however, they stretch their hands to reach for the halo and easily takes it out from Johnnys mess of hair. He automatically bends down his head and the headpiece quickly slides back onto his head. Johnny gives a smiley thanks, but before he can continue with the conversation, Ten is by his side – wrapping himself around Johnnys arm.

“Emergency. Talk, now.” Ten motions his head to the side, the tiny red devils horns in his hair not moving at all. Why did Johnny had to go with the _shitty_ one?

Johnny gives the stranger another smile, this time apologetic. They answer with a _see you around_ and before he can say something more, Ten is already walking somewhere behind him, dragging his hand along. “What’s the emergency?” Johnny turns to properly follow Ten, all of his senses are telling him that there is no emergency, otherwise none of them would be as calm as they are now.

Ten either doesn’t hear him or doesn’t find it important enough to answer. Just continues to navigate both of them through people, Johnny recognizes some people on the way and notes to say hi to them later.

When they finally stop, Ten turns around and Johnny realises that they are yet another pair between others at some lucky on the spot where everyone dances. Already used, Johnny puts his arms on Tens lower hips and lets a different pair of limbs wrap around his own torso. In contrast of other times they’ve danced together, if slowly swaying form one side to the other is considered dancing, Tens hands sneak underneath Johnnys shirt. His palms are pleasantly warm, the whole room is too hot for Johnnys liking, but he wouldn’t shake the pair of limbs off of his body.

“Lets go home?” Johnny giggles, _so that was the emergency_ … Ten almost teasingly starts to play with the skin under his fingers, scrunching his face at Johnnys reaction.

Johnny sighs, it’s Jaehyuns birthday and he did indirectly promise to keep an eye out for him, just in a case his younger friend gets too drunk. But, also, it is still Valentine’s Day and yet the chocolate cake in his fridge sits untouched. He has a hard decision to make, “I think we should stay longer,” Ten whines like a child and rests his head against Johnnys chest. “Are you tired?” The head on him moves from one side to the other, one of the horns scraping against his skin. “Not feeling well?”

“Maybe,” Johnny can hear how Ten takes a deep breath, “I don’t know.”

They’re still swaying from side to side, Ten letting the other to maneuver them both. “We can go outside for a moment, breathe some fresh air.” Outside it should be dark, they already got here when the sun had almost set. Spring is coming slowly, but the days don’t really seem to get longer, deep down Johnny is excited for the sunny seasons, when he can get back from work and the absence of the sun won’t make him want to curl up in his bed and do nothing. He is excited to sneak out to a market on a Saturday morning to buy some plants in pots to put on his balcony. “Hey, don’t fall asleep.” Johnny shakes his body to wake Ten up, who only grunts in response. It takes a few more attempts to shake Ten off.  
“Let’s go outside.”

As they walk hand in hand towards the entrance door, Jaehyun stops them with a question if _they’re leaving too? Yuta already left, not you too!_ The pair shares a look, Tens eyes gloomy, Johnny feels partly bad when he says that _no, we’re just going out for a minute._

“You can go sleep in a car,” Ten has curled himself in Johnnys arms, inside his thick coat, “I’ll try to leave as soon as possible.” The cold air unpleasantly nibbles on his cheeks.

“Nu-uh.” The shorter looks up, Johnny hopes that he feels way warmer than he himself does. The nights are still too cold for his liking.

Tens eyes are red, surely there’s an influence of alcohol, but Johnny can tell that there is something more than that, “You don’t look so good. Are you sure?” He can hear a muffled _wow, thanks_. Tens stubbornness is something Johnny has yet to find out how to fight with. Not that he minds, it adds some _spiciness_ to the whole Ten persona, but sometimes it feels like Ten himself doesn’t understand when it is okay to let his guard down. “15 minutes? And I’ll be back.”

“Or,” Ten unwraps himself from the warm nest, leaving Johnny colder than he was feeling before, “we can both stay for 15 minutes more.” He puts his now free hands in his pockets, maybe waiting for Johnny to try and make him go take a nap another time, but the elder is not sure.

“You know, I won’t suddenly disappear.” Johnny chuckles airy to lighten up the mood.

“That guy from before,” Ten squints his eyes comically, while pretending to look into nothing and clinging his own arm to the elders, “too suspicious.”

* * *

Ten falls sick during the next week. At first Johnny tried to rub it in that he was right – there was something behind it and Ten should’ve listened to him and stayed at home already on Monday-, but then the younger demanded to stay at his own home and if Johnny wanted to stay at least one night there, he was requested to plead for forgiveness.

The clothes Ten wears may look a little bit baggy, but when Johnny has to wear them two evenings in a row, he realises that slightly tight shirts do look good on him.

What Johnny also learns is that Ten enjoys using his state as an excuse to get spoiled. Even if Johnnys hands hurt after the long day at work, he just _cannot_ refuse a massage or a half an hour session of hair petting. Neither can he say no to Ten asking if he can go and pick up a pack of _these_ chips or a bar of _that_ chocolate from the small store down the street. And so on he doesn’t dare to not accept the invitation to stay over, knowing that he has to drive home early before work anyway.

Tens bedroom is hot yet again and, as much as he would like to cuddle the other while drifting to sleep, Johnny knows that Tens body is burning with the high temperature and that wouldn’t help his situation. Johnny carefully sits up in the bed, trying not to wake the other up. It should be past midnight, judging by the amount of thoughts that have ran through his mind while trying to fall asleep. Ten had gone to bed before him, saying that he doesn’t want to eat dinner. When he had finally come into the room, Ten was already breathing heavily and evenly.  
Johnny takes off the tightened shirt in a fluid motion, trying to leave it next to bed – on the floor - somewhat folded. He decides to get out and get a glass of cold water in the kitchen. It is nice to get out of bed and not feel the sudden change of the temperature, he wonders how much Ten has to pay for the heating.  
The bed cracks a little bit as Johnny puts all of his weight on one single spot, the duvet falling off on its own, leaving the man only in his underwear. Johnnys fingers come to his tired eyes to rub them in order to see better in the dark. He is glad that the bedroom door is ajar, so he doesn’t have to make any more noise while getting out of the room.

Some of the street lights manage to get into the rooms of Tens flat, them being the only light source that guides Johnny to the cupboard full of glasses and mugs. Tens kitchen is very compact, but that doesn’t seem to be in the way of cooking delicious meals. Well, everything is more compact here than it is at his own home. Even though they spend more time closer to the city centre – at Johnnys apartment it is – he has to admit that these rooms are home-ier than his. He likes to spend his time here, everything is so _Ten_ here.

Lost in his short trail of thoughts, one glass of water already down his throat, Johnny refills the glass and carefully makes his way back to the bed. He makes sure to leave the door slightly open, just in a case he still can’t sleep.

To his surprise, Ten is somewhat up, leaning on his arms and, from what Johnny can see in the dark, eyeing his tall figure. “Where did you go?” Ten is sleepy and it all comes out in his voice, a different kind of twists happens inside of Johnny –he tried to move so quietly, yet Ten is up _and_ waiting for him.

“I got thirsty.” Johnny lifts up the glass in his hand, “Do you want it?” He’s kneeling on the bed, waiting for Tens answer, to know whether or not to put the item down on the nightstand. The younger nods once, slowly. Johnny sits down, his legs tangled beneath him. The hand with the glass quickly finds its way to the others lips, meanwhile the other delicately lifts up Tens chin, holding it, so the water wouldn’t spill everywhere. He tips the edge ever so slightly, closer to Tens openly welcoming lips, as a single droplet runs down the others cheek – onto Johnnys hand. He doesn’t care, rather focusing his attention to properly balance the glass, in order not to accidently choke Ten or not give him enough water.

Johnny can only happily watch as the just full glass quickly is emptied. A part of him feels empathy of what Ten is feeling and although he is doing as much as he can to help the other get back on his feet, he still wishes he could do more. When there’s no water left and Ten sighs in satisfaction, he finally shuffles back under the blanket properly, leaving the empty glass on the bedside table. Johnny lets his body melt back into the bed, clearing his mind form any needless thoughts. The familiar heaviness settles in his limbs, extra weight added by Tens hand appearing on Johnnys lower abdomen.  
Ten snuggles against the free space of Johnnys ribs, his hair tickling the skin in the process.

There’s a brief silence, which lets the elder almost drift off, but Ten manages to break it, “You smell different.” Johnnys drowsy brain slowly processes if it should be taken as a compliment or he should be rather offended. “Sweeter. Honey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :( sorry for the long wait, but i haven't forgotten about this.
> 
> tmi: i decided to cancel the original ending, because i just couldn't write it lol, i felt too bad, so that's why it's 3 chapters now. i have to make up my mind about a few things. but the last chapter shouldn't take 3 months. hopefully. 
> 
> also, wayv drought been hitting hard. i've rewatched dream plan. winstagram and yangstagram when?

**Author's Note:**

> I started this one back in 2018 and I'm so GLAD to finally "get rid" of it lol. I didn't open the file for like haf a year D: It is not finsihed as there are two more months left, but I though that this would be an okay moment to post what I've written (plus the timelines kind of match).
> 
> English is my third language, there are probably a lot of places where the wrong words are put or the grammar is off, sorry! Also I haven't read it since getting this far! mistakes4life


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